A St Berry Collection
by breathlessnightxx
Summary: A collection of one-shots focusing on the pairing Jesse & Rachel. Genres and ratings vary from K-M.
1. His Final Mistake

**A/N**: Jonathan Groff is, by far, probably my favoritest person in the whole wide world. :) So the fact that he's on Glee, my favoritest show makes me feel like…I don't even think there's words. The producers and everyone apart of Glee have made the relationship between Jesse and Rachel flawless, and it's because of that I've decided to dedicate a compilation of different one-shots to my favorite couple. :3

**Disclaimer**: Glee is owned by FOX.

**Summary**: They say mistakes are made on the journey to finding your true love. He's made so many, he probably won't ever get a second chance.

**Category: **Glee

**Genre/s:** Romance/Angst

**Story Type:** AT

**Character Type:** Jesse/Major OOC, Rachel/Slight OOC

**Rating**: T (PG-13)

**Pairing**: St. Berry

* * *

_**Inspiration Behind One-Shot: Girl by Jim Sturgess, Across the Universe**_

**His Final Mistake**

"One half of me is yours, the other half yours-

Mine own, I would say; but if mine, then yours,

And so all yours!"

-William Shakespeare

* * *

At first it was just a game to him; capture the young star's heart, string her along, and then break her right before Regional's. It should have been easy; simple and effortless. _But he had to fall for her._

It wasn't supposed to happen. He was Jesse St. James, for god's sakes, he wasn't supposed to fall for mediocre, giggly school girls.

_His first mistake was believing she wasn't worth his time. _From the moment he heard her sing those first words in _Don't Rain on My Parade_, he commended her talent—yet her performance was flawed, and using that scarce amount of faults, he convinced himself she wasn't worth his time. He left without so much as an introduction or congratulations for their obvious win.

_His second mistake was thinking he knew her like the back of his hand._ All he needed were sweet sayings, a few compliments, and a smile here and there. Tie it all together with him serenading her in a public library, and she would be putty in his hands. He hadn't been prepared for her reaction. From what he had gathered, she was confident, overbearing, too bubbly and cheery, and always made sure to get what she wanted—all in all, she was a female version of him, or at least the person people _thought_ he was—which was the exact kind of girl he would never give the time of day. Instead he found an innocent, shy girl who was both awed by his presence and blushed at everything he said. If he didn't know any better, he'd have thought she was a completely different person.

_His third mistake was telling Shelby she would never reach his level of talent._ It was true that Rachel lacked Streisand's emotional depth at Sectional's, and her pitch was all over the place. So when he sat down at the piano he had fully prepared himself to try and deal with her imperfectness. What he _hadn't_ expected was the pure, raw talented voice she produced. It took all his willpower to continue singing without having his jaw drop in shock. He had been willing to ignore her obvious talent, and even more so her double-personality—he only discovered later on from further research that the annoying, challenging Rachel was a front she put up to protect herself. But it was utterly impossible to ignore the girl standing next to him with the voice of an angel. She far surpassed him, and for a fleeting moment he grew fearful. _What if she would be the one to knock him off his high pedestal? _His fear soon turned into admiration, and he realized the tables had turned; when introductions were exchanged, she had looked at him with starry eyes. Now he found himself to be awestruck by her.

_His fourth mistake was never telling her the truth from the start._ She gave him a warning: "If you break my heart, I might die..." He forced himself to believe she was over exaggerating. How could a young teenage girl feel like she's dying over a silly, little crush? But he started to understand what she meant as time passed. His admiration became crushing, his crushing became obsessing, his obsessing became addiction, and his addiction became love. He had fallen in love with Rachel Berry in two months. He no longer felt like he was playing a game; instead, every game piece was a person in his life, and Rachel's piece always seemed to occupy the center of the board game, all the other pieces revolving around her. He was stupid to think he could simply ignore a girl like Rachel—the perfect girl for him…A girl who would never give him a second chance if she found out where it all began.

_His fifth mistake was letting her weave her own web of lies. _He knew she was having difficulty keeping their relationship a secret from all her friends. She was lying to them every time she turned down a movie for "studying" or "auditions", because she was really with him. She was lying to them when she said she didn't hold a grudge against them for making her break up with him, because she never did. And she was lying to them when she said she was quitting the club to focus on her studies and future career—on Broadway of course—when she was really quitting so she could date him publically.

_His sixth mistake was never introducing her to his friends._ He had never met her friends for obvious reasons, but once Rachel quit Glee Club there were more expectations. She could finally meet his friends, his family; Rachel Berry would finally be able to take her first glimpse at the life of Jesse St. James. Only he couldn't tell her the truth: he had no real friends, or at least ones he could count on, and his family didn't fall short of the "Rude and Obnoxious" category. So when she finally confronted, landing them in their first big blow-out fight, he tried to worm his way out of introducing her to any of the scum that made up Vocal Adrenaline. She didn't believe him. Instead she asked around, trying to find answers as to why her boyfriend didn't want her to meet his friends. Was he embarrassed? The look on her face when he walked in on her talking to the female lead of Vocal Adrenaline was enough. _She knew_. His heartbeat picked up, his pulse racing, his breaths coming out in shallow gasps too low for her to hear. _She _knew. He could see the disbelief in her eyes. He could also see it turn into tragic heartbreak. And even though he tried to stop her, she walked away without listening to his pleads and reasoning.

_His seventh and final mistake was never telling her _"I love you."

* * *

**A/N:** A short little nothing for my favoritest couple on the planet. :) Creators of Glee, you are simply genius by adding Jonathan Groff to the show. My opinion? A million times better than Finn and Rachel together, plus their chemistry is just incredible. Anyone else like this new love interest (who they better keep on the show or will have one seriously angry fan-girl harassing them constantly)? Click the little green button down there and **REVIEW**!

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	2. Priorities

**A/N**: Glee was ammmmaaaazzzzzing last night! Slight spoilers for The Power of Madonna episode so watch out, but otherwise kick back, relax, and let me force St. Berry fluffyness down your throats. :3

**Disclaimer**: Glee is owned by FOX.

**Summary**: Jesse didn't have his priorities straight, and Rachel was going to make choose.

**Category:**Glee

**Genre/s:** Romance/Drama

**Story Type:** AT

**Character Type:** Jesse/Slight OOC, Rachel/Slight OOC

**Rating**: T (PG-13)

**Pairing**: St. Berry

* * *

_**Inspiration Behind One-Shot: Don't Do Sadness/Blue  
Wind by Jr. John Gallagher & Lauren Pritchard, Spring Awakening**_

**Priorities**

"Two souls with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one."

-John Keats

* * *

Rachel could never really understand what was wrong between her and Finn. She tried everything she could: making his and her calendars, asking him out on dates at least twice a week, and even coordinating their schedules so they could be together more often. Nothing worked.

It wasn't until after she had lied about breaking up with Jesse that she understood. Finn never had his priorities straight. He even said so himself. He concentrated on all the miniscule things in life, never on the important things and people. She made him her priority; she should get that same respect.

With Jesse, it was pretty much the same. Unlike Finn, he had started out by devoting tons of time to her, making sure that if he at least didn't see her during the day, he'd call or text her. Lately though he had taken to not talk to her for days, and then he would suddenly appear out of thin air. It reminded her of Mr. Schue's message through Madonna: don't let men walk all over you just because you're a girl. That's why she decided to confront him about it.

After he switched to McKinley High, Rachel subconsciously memorized Jesse's schedule. He had a math test last period so he had warned her he might be a bit late getting out—he had driven her to school that morning.

She waited in the parking lot leaning against his car, her shoulders straight, body oozing aloofness, and her head held high in confidence. It was going to come all down to this. She wasn't going to self-destruct another relationship because she refused to confront the problem head on. Jesse was the most important person to her, the most important person in her life. She wasn't giving him up without a fight—either he was going to walk or he'd stay; the ball was in his court.

She watched the doors on the opposite end of the parking lot open and Jesse strolled out, his curly hair looking messier than usual, most likely from running his hand through it or tugging on it numerous times during his test. He smiled brilliantly at her, his eyes never leaving hers as he quickened his pace towards his girlfriend. For a moment she forgot what she was supposed to do. Instead she found herself drowning in his sparkling hazel eyes, her stomach in knots and her heart fluttering. She always felt this way around him. Fresh. Spontaneous. New. _Alive_.

She knew she loved him. She knew from the moment she sang that first note in Lionel Richie's _Hello_ that once he walked into her life, he'd never completely leave her heart. She willingly took that risk. Making Jesse chose between her and his other priorities was just a mere…insurance policy. Wait. _Jesse…priorities…Madonna…right_. She was supposed to be mad.

She pinned a glare on him, biting down on her tongue to stop the smile threatening to burst out. Jesse saw her change in expression and looked confused for a minute. Confusion turned into comprehension before his eyes settled on the oddest expression: fear.

He stopped in front of her, leaving more space than usual between the two but standing close enough that she could lean over in an instant to kiss him. He seemed to want to ask what was wrong, but didn't seem to be able to voice his thoughts, so she thought she'd instigate.

"Jesse." Wow…So much for instigating there.

"Am I in trouble?" he asked after a moment, a she couldn't help but melt a little at the lost, puppy-eyed look he had on his face. Normally it was over-rated, abused by the male population, and pretty much clichéd. But when Jesse used it, she was positive he could convince a homeless man to give him all the remaining clothes off his back—not that he ever would, but she was one hundred percent sure he could.

"Depends. We need to talk."

He seemed to be searching for something in her expression, only she couldn't tell what he was looking for, which frustrated her to no ends.

"Why don't we sit in my car for a bit of privacy," he suggested, but he didn't look like he wanted to. Was he really _that_ scared of her? She nodded and he picked up her bag off the floor, opening her door with his free hand. He shut the passenger door once she was fully in, dumped both their bags on the floor in the backseat, and got into the driver's seat. He didn't start the ignition, didn't turn on the radio, and didn't move from his one position.

"Jesse, I—"

"Who told you?"

She blinked a few times at his question before looking at him dumbfounded.

"What are you—"

"Who told you Shelby asked me to date you as a spy for Vocal Adrenaline?" he said interrupting her again, his upper torso finally turning around to look at her desperately.

Her heart stopped beating. _Shelby…spy for Vocal Adrenaline_…he wouldn't. He couldn't. She thought…

"Jesse," she said, her voice breaking on each syllable, "what are you talking about?" He froze. She suddenly realized he thought she had found out about him dating her for information on the enemy and was going to confront him about it. He had no idea what was really going on. But that didn't matter anymore.

_Spy_…Of course it happened to her. Things were never perfect for her; she always got the short end of the stick or always ended up being the only one to get hurt.

"Wait—you mean this isn't about Vocal Adrenaline?" he asked distraughtly. "You never knew?"

"I can't believe this…" she whispered.

"Rachel, wait—"

But she was already out of the car and starting across the parking lot towards the road, thankful they hadn't started driving once in the car. She didn't think she could hold back the tears in front of him. She heard another car door slam and then sneakers running across the asphalt.

"Rachel," he screamed frantically, "wait!"

"NO."

"It's not what you think!" She whirled around in the blink of an eye, the tears already bursting through the dam.

"How can it not be what I think? You _lied_ to me Jesse. I told you from the beginning it had better not be a trick. So what, you're not even really a student at McKinley High? They're probably still holding a spot for you back at your old school, so why don't you just run along and deliver all your precious information to them?" she spat. She turned back around to try and walk away before her silent tears became loud sobs, but his warm hand on her wrist prevented her from taking another step.

"No, Rachel, you have to let me explain. I never lied to you," he said pleadingly.

"Everything you did was just assurance you would win Regional's!"

"NO! Rachel, please." She was struggling against him. This hurt so much more than with Fin. Maybe because she'd already had her heart broken. Maybe because there was no doubt in her mind they were perfect for each other and now she wouldn't get her happily ever after.

"Jesse, I don't think I can do this," she whispered tearfully.

"Rachel," he begged quietly, "I swear I never lied to you. It wasn't my idea and I never went out with you for information. You have to believe me."

She sighed before sitting on the edge of the parking lot sidewalk, her head falling in her hands that rested on her knees.

"You have a minute and a half before I walk away and never speak to you again," she whispered hoarsely. The pain was unbearable.

"I met you at the music store before Shelby confronted me about anything," he said quickly, his breath coming in soft, short gasps, his feet bringing him back and forth in front of her, pacing. "It was more like I was assessing you. I didn't know if you were worth my time or if you were really even somebody I would want to be around at all. Your reputation doesn't precede you. But the girl I met in the music store, the girl who's voice is a perfect match for mine, the girl who completely surprised me because she hadn't been what I was expecting…that was the real Rachel Berry. You weren't surrounded by your friends or Glee club members, or in the presence of peer pressure. You were just you. I hadn't been prepared for you. I geared myself up to be prepared for an overconfident, bubbly, slightly erratic child who relied on her incredible talent for everything in life. Instead I came face to face with a shy, blushing, beautiful, perfect woman who made me lose my mind and make me go weak in the knees with one look."

She noted the raw passion and determination in his voice; the sincerity he spoke with. He was telling the truth. He wasn't lying.

"Singing that first song with you marked a new beginning in my life. It was like in that one moment I had been reborn, and my life's sole purpose was to be by your side every waking moment. I asked you out for the following Friday. I was ecstatic. The people in Vocal Adrenaline thought I was going crazy because I was always smiling. Shelby found out only after a day what had happened." He sighed. "I swear, the woman has an endless amount of resources," he muttered as an afterthought.

She took a deep breath before speaking, willing her voice not to break in front of him. "What happened after she found out?" _No such luck._

He finally stopped pacing and sighed dejectedly before sitting down next to her, his posture mirroring hers. "She yelled. And screamed. _A lot._ She kept saying I was fraternizing with the enemy, and nobody would ever give me the light of day so you must be using me to spy for you glee club. I begged her. Pleaded with her for hours upon hours. Unfortunately, she would only let me be with you if I agreed to one thing."

She tilted her head to the side to look at him, tears still caked on her face and her cheeks flushed. "Spy on me and New Directions."

He nodded in conformation before looking at her. "I usually don't do what she tells me to. I don't sing because she says sing, and I don't dance because she says dance. I do the things I do because I want to. But Rachel…you have to understand: I couldn't just give you and me up like that. It had been two days and I had already fallen for you. I'm not the type of person to rush into something, I'm so focused on perfection I never act rashly. But with you I was willing to take that risk."

She faintly remembered her own thoughts from earlier in the day. 'She willingly took that risk.'

"I agreed to spy in return for permission to see you. Shelby is close with my parents, who would most likely not approve of my relationship with you. She knew I couldn't do anything else because otherwise she'd just go to them. But the more time I spent with you, the harder I fell." At this point, he inched his hand closer and closer towards hers until his palm was cupped with her own, his body heat sending warm, pleasant tingles through every nerve end in her body. She was getting that feeling again: she felt alive.

"I started giving her false information. I finally realized how seriously you really took your glee club and didn't want to do anything to jeopardize all the hard work you had put into it. She found out. We fought. She hit me at one point." Her hand squeezed his reassuringly, letting him know she was still focused intently on him and that she cared. "She told my parents. They kicked me out."

She froze. "Wait. They kicked you out of your house," she asked in horror. He sighed and nodded like he wasn't surprised, but without regret as well. "Jesse, they have no right. You should tell someone."

"I just told you, didn't I? That's all I need."

She gave a small smile at that before frowning. "But I don't understand. Why wouldn't you just tell me from the beginning what Shelby said? I would have understood and helped you out. I would have helped you lie to her and you wouldn't be kicked out of your house right now."

"Would you have really understood?" he asked with a raised brow. She didn't answer right away and he lowered it as if saying, 'you see my point.'

She sighed before pulling him sideways, his head falling onto her lap, hands still intertwined. She ran her other hand through his soft locks of hair, his body sagging for a minute in defeat before nuzzling his face on her legs.

"I'm so sorry Rachel. I should have told you, I know that, but I didn't want to risk it. I didn't want you to leave me…" he whispered.

She felt a dramatic pull in her chest, a heart wrenching tug as she felt the pain he felt. She wouldn't have done a single thing differently if she were him.

"Jesse, it's okay. I forgive you. It's not your fault," she whispered.

"Thank god," he said, his voice muffled by the material of her skirt before she felt his shoulders slightly begin to shake. He was crying. She swore she felt something in her break at the sight. _He must feel so overwhelmed and helpless right now_, she thought.

She silently continued playing with his hair and just being with him for a few minutes, letting him get some of his pent up emotions out. She raised his head slightly, motioning for him it was time to get up. He wiped his eyes with his fists, but he wasn't able to do it fast enough; she saw the tear streaks. His eyes were slightly red and she couldn't help but think how cute he looked despite his pain.

She helped him up and went into his jacket pocket grabbing his keys. She led him to the car, helping his broken form get in before getting into the driver's side and start the short ride home. He sat quietly the entire way looking out the window. His eyes were sullen, which she knew wasn't directed at her, rather at the situation at hand. Things weren't exactly going well for him right now, which was ironic because usually she was the one in the passenger seat crying her eyes out.

She brought them to her house, where she knew her dads weren't home yet and no unwanted questions would be asked. She helped Jesse, who seemed to have lost his strength all together, out of his car. She had to admit, she kind of liked taking care of him right now; she was happily able to say that he was leaning on her, and no one else would be able to cheer her up. She brought him into the house and slowly up the stairs to her room. Jesse had been in her room plenty of times, so he knew exactly which door led to the attaching bathroom without accidentally walking into a closet.

"I'll be right back," he murmured. She could hear the sink water running and water splashing onto his face. When he came back in, his face was red from the cold water but he looked more alert, awake. He sighed, once again, as he sat down on her bed. She slowly, but confidently, brought her knees up onto the bed and on both sides of him before pushing his shoulders gently into the comforters and laying on top of him.

"I'm not mad Jesse. I'm not going to give up on this relationship just because of a silly misunderstanding." She noted the huge amount of tension that left his body at those words and she smiled. "Besides, I'm pretty sure I'm the only person who puts up with your crap without complaint." He laughed at that, his first smile since this entire thing started.

"Thank you, Rachel," he whispered into her ear. His warm breath sent tingles raking through her body and she smiled. He didn't explain and she didn't ask. Instead she started humming their song in his ear, her hand subconsciously playing with his hair again.

"Rachel," he said quietly. She didn't stop humming and inclined her head slightly towards him showing she was listening.

"I think I love you," he murmured. The silence in the room was deafening for about three seconds before she softly pressed her lips to his.

"I think I loved you from the moment you played those first notes in Hello," she replied softly, a smile gracing her face like none he had ever seen. She looked peaceful, content; like no one was dying in the world, like there were no wars going on, like everything was perfect. And even if that was hard to believe, he couldn't help but feel the same. Everything was perfect in their lives. He wouldn't change anything or how anything had happened. He didn't care if this was their first big fight or that they had both been reduced to embarrassing piles of tears. Instead everything was in the open, and he was almost positive that their relationship just took its next step. They were moving forward—together.

Rachel's dads had gotten home a little after they did, but neither moved from the bed and her dads never came to check on them. It was like they _knew_ he was up here.

"They like you, you know," she said after a while.

"Who?"

"My dads." He turned to her—they had repositioned themselves on the bed so they were laying correctly on the bed, their bodies spooned together perfectly—and watched her chest rise and fall with each breath she took, her eyes closed peacefully.

"So I take it they know I'm up here?" She snorted and grinned.

"Most likely; but don't worry, they fully trust me." He seemed to be content with that answer and, instead of turning back towards the wall so they could spoon, he wrapped his arms around her and brought their bodies close together. He doubted anyone could fit a piece of paper between them.

"What if you moved in with us?" she asked. He didn't freak out like she had been preparing herself for. In fact, he was almost acting like he hadn't heard anything at all, but because she was so in tune with him and could read him like an open book, she was able to tell he had heard and was thinking it over.

"I think…that I'd like that very much," he said finally. She nuzzled her head into the crook of his neck and sighed blissfully. "I love you," she said with no hesitation, happy that she was able to say it for once and mean it; not when she said it to Fin as some silly little girl crush.

"I love you too," he said and she knew he meant it.

They were quiet for a while before he sat up a bit. She opened her eyes and saw a confused expression on his face.

"Wait. If you weren't mad about me being a spy, why were you mad at me?" he asked. Understanding clouded her face before she smiled and closed her eyes again.

"You didn't have your priorities straight before."

"My what?"

"Your priorities. As much as I wanted to be with you, I wasn't going to date you if I wasn't one of your top priorities." There was silence before, "What about now?"

She sighed realizing he was in a talkative mood and she probably wouldn't be getting any sleep, even though the day had drained her body. She got on her knees and straddled his waist and pressed her lips against his once, twice, three times, before she brought one hand under his head to play with his hair and the other hand in his, fingers laced together. Now that their feelings were out in the open, she found herself more confident in them, bolder.

"You're priorities are perfectly in order," she said clearly. He grinned.

"You being my first of course."

"As much as I love this conversation, I'm really comfy, I'm tired, and I want to sleep. So sleep." He chuckled at her grumbles and how despite her words, she brought herself closer to him and didn't stop her ministrations.

"Goodnight love." And with that, the two fell asleep.

* * *

**A/N:** Yay! Another done! My mom got pissed last night because as soon as Jesse walked on screen I freaked and started shrieking, totally having a fan-girl moment. So I couldn't finish this till I got in school. Anyways, this one was a lot longer than the first one. The first was a little over 1,000 words. This one was over 3, 500 words. :) So review! :3 I'll give you a cooooookieeee..

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	3. Stalking Rachel Berry

**A/N**: I feel like I'm on a St. Berry Overload (also known as SBO/JGS: Jonathan Groff Syndrome) and have tons of new ideas for one-shots to add to this collection. I should also be starting an actual St. Berry story soon enough, but I'm still not sure whether it's going to be rated T or M, and I don't know when exactly I'll come out with the first chapter of it. The title's either going to be "Understanding Shakespeare" or "Just Another Clichéd Romance" with the summary soon to be released. :P

**Disclaimer**: Glee is owned by FOX.

**Summary**: Jesse lied when he told Rachel the first time ever saw her was at Sectional's. He lied when he told her the first time he ever met her was at the library; because that was the first time he said 'I love you.'

**Category:**Glee

**Genre/s:** Romance/Drama

**Story Type:** AT

**Character Type:** Jesse/Slight OOC, Rachel/Slight OOC

**Rating**: T (PG-13)

**Pairing**: St. Berry

* * *

_**Inspiration Behind One-Shot: Airplanes by B.o.B,  
featuring Hayley Williams of Paramore**_

**Stalking Rachel Berry**

"There is always some madness in love.

But there is also always some reason in madness."

-Friedrich Nietzche

* * *

He lied. When he had told Rachel at the library that his first time seeing her was at Sectional's he was completely lying to her face. No, the first time Jesse St. James had watched the talented, young girl perform was at McKinley High's dinner. His family was extremely wealthy and donated tons of money to the local public high schools in the area; therefore his parents, and himself, were invited. At the time, Vocal Adrenaline hadn't started practicing as seriously as they would when Regional's started getting closer. He had heard about McKinley's new glee club and wanted to check them out, so he had agreed to go.

He was confused as to why there was a drunk, thirty-something year old woman on stage, but he chose to ignore her and watch the rest of the club. He admitted they had talent, and you could tell some had extraordinary talent in the musical department, but something was missing. It was like the key ingredient being forgotten in a recipe. When the crowd finished clapping for the first act and the dinner was almost over, he had told his parents he would be leaving early to get some work done for school—they had taken separate cars, him liking his own fast and over-flashy cars.

He had his tuxedo jacket on; chair pushed in, and having already shaken hands and thanked the proper people necessary, he was almost out the door The music had already started up for their next number. He immediately recognized the sounds of _Somebody to Love_ being played and was wondering how on earth they were planning on pulling this song off; he was almost positive nobody in their glee club could hit the high notes and sound perfect while doing so. He turned around in interest and noted that their drunken friend wasn't on stage. _Guess they came to their senses._

It was then that he saw her. She twirled out from the back of one of the male leads, who although he had talent couldn't hit a high note for his life. Her voice was easily able to lead the rest of her teammates through the entire song, and he was shocked at the perfection in pitch and length of each note. It was as if she herself had created the song, the melody. That was the first time he heard Rachel Berry's voice.

He took to walking around McKinley High a lot after that night, most of the time looking through a window or sneaking into the school to watch their glee club practice. Most of the time her fellow peers couldn't quite catch onto a new song until a few times after, but she was nearly as perfect as he was each time she sang. She was supposed to be his rival. Instead he found himself in awe.

He started screwing up in practice with Vocal Adrenaline. Practices had _really_ begun in preparation for Regional's and he wasn't able to see—_not_ _stalk_—Rachel as often as he used to be able to. That's why he decided to tell his parents and Shelby he couldn't devote as much time to Vocal Adrenaline as they wanted him to; he told them he would be joining a class running four times a week to help with scholarship applications to college. He was pretending to want to keep his college options 'open'.

So while they thought he was at a class every week from five to eight at night, he was really stalking Rachel Berry at school, practice, and home. During the two months he managed to keep this up, he learned more about Rachel then he could have ever imagined. Like how most people thought she only liked show music from Broadway shows and all that; this was in fact a lie. Rachel Berry had probably the most varied, vast, and incredible music collection he had ever seen or heard of in his life. If she had been like this when she was younger, some might call her a musical prodigy for how much she was able to absorb. He also learned that she never took singing or dancing lessons until she grew older and decided to aim for the pros as a profession. She spent large amounts of time on her homework in addition to her glee club showing her dedication, and even though everyone slammed her constantly, she always kept her head held high and let things slide right over. When she was confused her eyebrows scrunched together and wavered slightly, when she was really happy she tended to not care as much about her looks, posture, manners—though she was still always polite—and poise. She didn't like fragrances, perfumes, body lotion, or any of those things girls obsess over.

These were things he had learned in less than three months; so he couldn't even fathom why there was not one kid in the school who seemed to be good friends with Rachel. Sure, she had the glee kids, but she never hung out with them after school, she was never invited when they went out and she never invited anyone at all. She was a loner if anything and he felt a pang in his heart at that thought._ She didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve to be walked all over. They didn't deserve her._

A little while later, Sectional's came. He was pissed at that man-polyester suit wearing bitch for leaking the set list. He had heard New Directions practicing those same songs for the competition, and the other two schools didn't do any of those number justice. But he was mostly angry at Sue Sylvester because of how Rachel reacted. Her first reaction was shock and then disbelief, which soon turned into disappointment. She was upset that someone had coincidentally picked the same song as them, but it didn't matter to her; they had their other two songs. Two songs and many pairs of bleeding ear-drums later, she looked so hurt and angry that someone had actually decided to leak their set list. She was upset, but she was dealing like every good captain of a team should. Then the fights broke out.

Accusing fingers pointed in every direction, miniscule details and nonsense were blown out of proportion, and claws were bared to strike at the first hint of betrayal. Rachel stood quietly to the side, her mind in turmoil. She was supposed to be dealing with the problem at hand—finding new songs to perform so they wouldn't have to forfeit—but as team leader she was also supposed to solve any social problems going on in the club—which was just as likely to happen as him being a girl. Rachel really was torn, and then Finn came to save the day. He knew she liked him a lot, and although this put him slightly out, he respected her choices and really wanted to just see that smiling face, whether it was him who put that smile there or not. By the smile and relief on her face, he could easily see she felt like Finn was her Prince Charming at the moment. He came to her rescue at just the right time and seemed to be saying all the right things. Then, just as quickly as he had appeared, he went back to being a douche. Rachel looked crestfallen, and he was pissed. Yet again someone had hurt her.

After their miraculous, yet expected, victory at Sectional's, Rachel and Finn started "dating." He could see the amount of time and effort she put into maintaining their relationship. He could also see the lack of time and effort from Finn. He could see the hurt in her eyes and he kept blowing her off and blaming all his life problems on her. He could also see Finn's ignorance. He wanted to do something, anything, to just make Finn's day a little bit worse if he couldn't come into direct contact with him: maybe slash his tires, or fill his locker with dead fish that would leave a horrid smell for the next six months. He resisted because Rachel hadn't given up yet. He wanted her happiness.

Finn broke her heart. She cried. She yelled. All her emotions that had been bottled up inside since this glee club started poured out, Finn only witnessing a portion of it. The rest happened in Rachel's bedroom which was torn apart, turned over, and chaotic in every way. Broken pictures frames hung crooked on the walls; bed covers were ripped and pillows just lumps of material, the feathers scattered over the whole room; books, CDs, pictures, papers, and anything else was ripped out of its proper place and completely destroyed. He watched her sit and cry for hours, skipping all of practice and straight through dinner. He then watched her slowly look around and caress the front of her favorite CD—her _Spring Awakening_ album that now lay broken on her rug—with a single finger, realizing she had just destroyed almost all of her memories and memorabilia. She started to cry again.

He hated not being able to go and hug her, kiss her, hold her, touch her, console her, anything to make that beautiful smile appear on her face. That's when he decided it was time Rachel Berry meet Jesse St. James. He staged the perfect meeting. He knew she had an assignment for glee club, one that required her to perform a song with the word 'Hello' in the title. He knew of the perfect song for her, one that explained his feelings completely. He decided it would be their song.

He put a bunch of musical books with exactly what she was looking for on top of a bookcase in the public library she was in where she would immediately see it. He slipped the book he had chosen under the top one and waited patiently behind a bookcase farther away. She spotted the music and wandered over, leafing through the books with a smile on her face and the pure luck she had—honestly, a pile of books with everything she needed? He could see the one he had chosen grasping her attention and decided to make his move.

He played the cocky, aloof playboy who could easily capture any girl's heart. He needed to test the waters first, see if the temperature was good; he wasn't going to go diving head-first into unknown territory. He smiled satisfied at her quick take to him and realized making her fall for him might not be so hard to do after all. He pulled her towards the piano, knowing how the idea would easily seduce her into complying with him. He sang the first words.

_I've been alone with you inside my mind__  
__And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times__  
__I sometimes see you pass outside my door__  
__Hello, is it me you're looking for?_

He smiled genuinely, a smile he knew would only be given to Rachel from this day forth. When it came to expressing his emotions, Jesse was a failure. Ask him to act and pretend to have feelings that were a different story. But Jesse wasn't pretending. That's why he decided to sing this particular song, their song, in their first meeting. It was like he was confessing to her in words rather than lyrics, hushed confessions rather than hushed lines. He was able to sing his feelings for her as loud as he wanted in anyone's presence and no one but him would ever know that the lyrics fit his relationship with her perfectly.

_I can see it in your eyes__  
__I can see it in your smile__  
__You're all I've ever wanted, and my arms are open wide__  
__'Cause you know just what to say__  
__And you know just what to do__  
__And I want to tell you so much, I love you ..._

She was perfect; every sound that came out of her mouth, every move her body made, every look she gave him was flawless. They were things that had seemed to be burned into his mind a long time ago, but now that he was experiencing them firsthand, it was as if he was starting over from scratch. Not that he minded.

_I long to see the sunlight in your hair__  
__And tell you time and time again how much I care__  
__Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow__  
__Hello, I've just got to let you know_

_'Cause I wonder where you are__  
__And I wonder what you do__  
__Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?__  
__Tell me how to win your heart__  
__For I haven't got a clue__  
__But let me start by saying, I love you ..._

He noted how perfectly harmonized they were together, how easily they could _be_ together. He knew it would take time. After all, she just broke up with Finn. He was willing to wait. He'd been waiting almost half a year up until now; he could wait a little while longer until she was ready.

_Hello, is it me you're looking for?__  
__'Cause I wonder where you are__  
__And I wonder what you do__  
__Are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you?__  
__Tell me how to win your heart__  
__For I haven't got a clue_

He was finally getting everything he wanted. Everything he had suffered through since he was a child, every memory in his brain that pained him, all of it seemed to disappear when he first met Rachel. Now he really had a chance at being happy, at making her happy, at having his very own happily ever after; at finally being able to tell her after all this time, 'I love you.' And tell her he did.

_But let me start by saying ... I love you_

So he had lied when he told Rachel the first time he saw her was at Sectional's. He lied when he said their first meeting was at that public library, the very same one they visited frequently to serenade each other and give the public a performance. No, the public library was the very first time Jesse St. James confessed his love for Rachel, a love that he was sad to say was unrequited. _For now.

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**A/N: **Another St. Berry one-shot completed. :) And this one hit almost 3,000 words too! I have about seven more ideas already thought of, so all I really have to do is write them down. I can't make any promises about how often I'll update—finals are coming up along with the regents—so I'll do my best. :3 Now, because I've obviously shown you how much I love you by updating so soon, show ME your love by leaving a review to feed my dangerous addiction. :D

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**DON'T FIGHT IT. GIVE IN. EMBRACE YOUR INNER EVILNESS.**

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	4. Doubts

**A/N**: I tried getting in an update as soon as I could for you guys, so I'm sorry if the writing in this one isn't as good. Also, I just want to say thanks to all the reviews, favorites, subscriptions, and alerts I've gotten. :) They seriously make my crappy day all better (which is why I read them _after_ school ends) and I can't thank you guys enough! Also, thanks to all the people who gave me ideas for one-shots to write for this collection, which I will most definitely use (and give credit to the people who came up with the plot). Now, let me feed you my Jonathan Groff and St. Berry addiction by making you read this story. :)

**Disclaimer**: Glee is owned by FOX. Some of the words are also lyrics from the song _Always_ by Blink-182.

**Summary**: Jesse is tired of dealing with McKinley High's accusations of him being a spy. Why couldn't they just believe he liked Rachel? Was it really so hard to believe?

**Category: **Glee

**Genre/s:** Romance/Drama

**Story Type:** AT

**Character Type:** Jesse/Slight OOC, Rachel/Slight OOC

**Rating**: T (PG-13)

**Pairing**: St. Berry

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**_Inspiration Behind One-Shot: Always by Blink-182_**

**Doubts**

"_We are not the same persons this year as last; nor  
are those we love. It is a happy chance if we,  
changing, continue to love a changed person."__  
__-W. Somerset Maugham_

_

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Jesse couldn't help but scowl each time someone called him a spy. Was it really _that_ easy to believe he was like that? Jesse St. James didn't need to spy on anyone to win; his confidence, ego, and talent were all perfectly fine, thank you very much. So when Rachel Berry, the star of New Directions and the enemy, told him they would have to keep their relationship a secret, a plan started to form in his head.

Shelby had, in fact, asked him to use his newfound association and trust with Rachel to spy, but he had turned her down. Jesse refused to be used—spying was way beneath him, yet everyone seemed so ready to believe he'd do it. Shelby was shocked when he declined, the New Directions kids all still believed this lie, and when Rachel told him he had better not be planning on breaking her heart, it was like the last straw to break the camel's back.

It was around three in the morning and Jesse had his arms propped up against the headboard of his bed behind him, his head resting against them. Rachel had come home upset again that day, lying to him and saying nothing had happened. But he knew. He knew the glee kids didn't believe her when she said she broke up with him, and he knew they were ostracizing her from the group. His emotions were flickering back and forth, anger, sadness, uncertainty, and concern all coursing through his body. He wasn't sure how strong his feelings were for Rachel yet, but he also knew that if it hurt _him_ because he knew she was being hurt, he couldn't imagine how she felt. That's when he decided he had to put his plan into action.

The first step was climbing up a tree and knocking on Rachel's bedroom window at three-thirty in the morning. The shades opened and he could see her rubbing her eyes sleepily, her arms already having goose bumps on them from the cool air against her bare arms and shoulders. He realized she was wearing a tank top and shorts, something he felt like he'd never see Rachel Berry wear. Ever. That was also the first time he realized she never acted like her true self around her friends, and for very good reasons. If they were so quick to push her out when she wasn't quite herself, the hits she would take if she didn't build a wall around herself would be catastrophic for her. She unlocked and opened her windows allowing him to come in, not even bothering to ask what he was doing her at such an ungodly hour—she didn't really seem to mind he was here anyway—but he could see a small smile making its way onto her face. He grinned behind her as she led the way back to her bed; _he_ was the one who brightened up her day (or very early morning, but either way), _he_ was the one who she sounded best singing with, and _he_ was the one who got to hug her, hold her, touch her, feel her, kiss her, taste her, hug her, always.

She sat on her bed and pulled him with her, his body gently pressing against her as they got into a laying position. He grinned at her, a big cheesy grin that he had only ever given to her, before leaning down and softly pressing his lips against her. Her reaction was instantaneous, and her hands wove around his head to grasp tufts of his soft, curly brown hair into her tiny fists, her body arching up from the bed to just feel more of him. He sucked on her bottom lip, asking permission for entry as he always did. And just like he always asked, she always complied. He grinned into the kiss, a kiss that seemed to make the room a hundred degrees hotter than it should be with the window but managed to stay innocent all the same. He pecked her lips a few last times before moving slightly so he was laying next to her, his hands wrapping around her and pulling her close to him, his chest heaving slightly from the lack of air while kissing her. She giggled.

"What brought on this sudden burst of emotions?" she asked. He looked at her confused only to be met with a grin just as wide as his always was around her. _She liked him too. That was obvious._ "You never look this happy to see me, let alone at nearly four in the morning. Which, by the way, why are you here again? Not that I mind," she hurriedly added on the end.

He smiled at her before taking the back of his hand and gently running it up and down her soft, smooth cheek. It seemed as if instinctively she leaned her head down onto his hand, like they'd been doing this forever and by now it was a habit.

"I came to talk to you." Normally when someone said those words, the other would freak out. If a guy said it, the girl immediately broke down crying and began to grovel at their feet for forgiveness, even if she hadn't heard a word he was saying. Rachel was different. It seemed like she knew they had things they needed to talk about, and she completely trusted his honesty in this relationship. Rachel was mature and understanding like that. This was another reason why she was perfect for him—Jesse couldn't stand immature, spoiled, moody girls. Rachel was like the exact duplicate of him, yet the opposite all at the same time. It was refreshingly new.

The second step of his plan was telling her everything. He had practiced in front of the mirror, in his car at a red light, on stage with no one around, and even with his mom. He needed this to be perfect. No matter how understanding Rachel was, he couldn't risk even the slightest mistake or fuck-up in his words.

"Shelby asked me to spy on you." He felt her shoulders tense slightly, but she nodded all the same for him to continue. "I said no, of course, but you should know that she did in fact ask me to."

Rachel sat up from their position to give him her full attention—he was almost positive his hand on her cheek was distracting her, something that would happen even if the situation were reversed—and he sat up with her, the two of them leaning on her headboard with their hands clasped together.

"When did she ask you?" she asked her voice controlled and curious. He silently thanked her for her calmness and how considerate she was being. He never got that courtesy from other people, and the fact that it was coming from Rachel, his girlfriend of all people, obviously meant something. She must have at least been freaking out slightly in her head, and you could tell she tried not to show it, even though he could still see it in her face a bit.

"A little after I first met you in the library. When she offered it to me, I left. I wasn't going to put up with that. And besides, I couldn't stand being away from you for that long of amount of time." At those three simple sentences, her body immediately deflated and a smile made its way onto her face.

"So it wasn't her idea for you to meet me?" she asked excitedly. "Our meeting was a total coincidence?" Her eyes sparkled, her body now completely invading his personal space—not like he minded—by leaning towards him. He chuckled and nodded, completely taken aback by the forceful kiss she suddenly planted on him, her hands gripping him so tightly he thought it was going to physically hurt her. Even though his lips were currently preoccupied, they tilted upwards into a smile which she mimicked. He couldn't even begin to fathom the amount of stress and worry that was just taken off of her. Rachel was becoming slightly more forward he noted, her hands starting to roam everywhere on his body, her fingers getting dangerously close to the bottom of his shirt which he was sure would come off easily and her tank top showing more and more skin. He wanted to take this slow though. He hated how fast-paced his life was. He wasn't going to screw this up, and he wasn't going to do something with Rachel she might regret. He began to slow down his kisses, giving her a few last pecks before pulling away all together and just hugging her close.

"I needed to tell you that," he whispered. "If you found out from someone else, you would have taken it the wrong way. On top of that, I'm not going to lie when I say your friends in the glee club are really pissing me off with their assumptions and methods of trying to protect you. She snorted at that, a cute snort that sent her into an embarrassed fit of giggles that she just laughed like that in front of him. She ignored the sound she made and instead voiced her thoughts.

"The only thing those preoccupied, immature people are worrying about is possibly not winning Regional's. If they're that worried they should have listened to me in the first place by not fucking around and screwing themselves over by not practicing. They're just scared."

He was shocked. He knew they were rude to her a lot, but he didn't know she noticed—and if she did, he thought she just let it roll right off her back. But no, Rachel knew how disgusting they were and chose to ignore it. Again, he commended her maturity. He honestly believed if she was his age she would fit in much better social and academic-wise. She wouldn't have to pretend all the time; she could wear whatever she wanted without worrying about how she looked or anything of the sort, because he was quite aware that she owned more pairs of jeans and band t-shirts than she did skirts and dresses. She also was definitely way above her grade level in classes. He knew of her perfect straight-A's, and had to admit that she barely studied for her tests and did all her homework in about thirty minutes tops.

He was falling. God, he was falling for Rachel Berry so fast everything seemed to just be a blur around him—_everything but her_. He didn't know when in the past hour he realized it. He wasn't even sure if he had noticed it at all up until now. But he was falling in love with Rachel Berry. And god damnit, he loved every second of it. They fell asleep together that night on top of her covers, smiles on both their faces even in their sleep, and their bodies intertwined along with their hands. That was the best night's sleep he ever got.

Step three was tougher than the first two. He had to convince Rachel to let down those walls she built around herself. He was fine with her wanting to protect herself, but she had him for that now, something he was keenly intent on doing. So the first thing he did was change her outfit for school that day.

Her fathers never checked on her in the morning so they never knew a boy was in their teenage daughter's bedroom. He roamed freely around her room for a little bit as she continued to sleep, his eyes taking account for every book and CD she liked, along with the ones that seemed more worn out and used. When she began to wake up, he walked over to the bed and slowly roused her with a delicate kiss.

"You better be careful," she murmured against his lips. "I might just get used to waking up like this every morning. Then you'll never be rid of me." She took his deepening of the kiss as his way of saying, "Bring it on." He slowly ended the kiss before telling her she should probably start getting ready for school.

"Uch," she groaned, her eyes closing in annoyance, "school." He grinned at her reaction. If only she knew the rest of his plan…

"Yes, school," he said. "Don't worry; I have to go too you know." She grinned.

"Yeah, but now you go to my school." He grinned back.

"Yes, sweetheart, I think we established that a while ago." She gently swatted his hands away from her at that and he smirked at her in humor. He sat on her bed as she began to sort through her closet, her hands finally coming to rest on a black and red plaid skirt along with a white, short sleeved button down shirt.

"Nope," he said popping his 'p'. "You're not wearing that." She turned to him, her eyebrows crunched together in confused.

"What do you mean, I'm not wearing this?" He looked at her meaningfully before giving her an obvious look.

"Don't pretend or try around people to fit in. You're perfect the way you are, and nothing should change that. Who cares if they don't like you, they're idiots in that place anyway," he chastised her. "Be yourself. Don't give a rat's ass about what they say or do. Besides, you've got me now. I'll never leave you alone." He sent a wink her way at his last words and she rolled her eyes amusedly at him. But his message got through nonetheless because she went to her dresser drawers and pulled out an old, worn out pair of faded jeans along with a light grey hoodie. It was one of the most casual outfits he'd ever seen, but it looked so natural and beautiful on her that he couldn't stop himself from distracting her at the task at hand by kissing her silly.

Whereas Rachel normally took twenty to thirty-five minutes in the morning to get herself ready for school, she took longer than an hour because Jesse kept distracting her. For someone who seemed to always be very punctual, he sure wasn't worried about being late. She looked at the clock for the first time that morning and saw the number seven, three, and eight flash across the screen. She sighed internally. Of course he'd wake her up at six thirty in the morning. Why wouldn't he. But she couldn't help but wonder how many hours of sleep he had actually gotten that night. From the bags under his eyes, she couldn't say a lot.

They left her house semi-early to go to his own for a change of clothes and his schoolbag before he took her out to breakfast. He paid the bill, drove her to school, walked her to her first period class, kissed her goodbye saying he would see her during lunch, and walked away leaving her in a messy pile of goo. He was the perfect gentlemen to her, and she definitely noticed how easy this routine seemed to be for them.

The entire day her mind was filled with Jesse. She was distracted in all her classes, although she still managed to absorb every word the teacher said unsurprisingly, and was often daydreaming of him. Lunch was only forty-five minutes, an amount of time that seemed much, much shorter when she was with Jesse. The next time she saw him was three hours later at glee club.

They were meeting in the auditorium that day. Jesse's fourth step was being more open about his relationship with Rachel to maybe win over her glee club. Maybe if they saw how much he really liked her, they'd stop excluding him from everything and jumping to conclusions.

No such luck. He held her hand, kissed her, played with her hair, sang with her, practiced a little off to the side, tried talking to them, laughed, danced, and everything else he was supposed to. The things with Rachel were natural to him at this point, public or not. But making an effort with her friends was something different altogether and wasn't working at all. Rachel noticed because her hand kept gripping his tighter and tighter as rehearsal progressed. When practice was over, the two gathered their bags and turned to leave, completely aware of the stares being given and the hushed whispers behind their backs.

He was fully intent on leaving before taking Rachel out for ice cream, something he had learned was her comfort food—strawberry and cookie dough ice cream with rainbow sprinkles, whipped cream, and two cherries—to maybe make her feel a bit better. After all, he was the one causing her pain. So he was surprised when they reached the door and she hesitated, hand on the doorpost, before spinning around and pinning a glare on each member of the club.

"Three things," she began, her voice ringing the authority and power of a leader. "One, I can date who I want. Stop giving Jesse a hard time because he's from Vocal Adrenaline. Especially you guys, Kurt, Mercedes, and Quinn. With one being gay, the other black, and one carrying a teen baby, I'm actually kind of shocked that you so readily blocked him out just because of where he comes from and who he is." The three looked guilty as charged, and he was awed at the power Rachel really had over all of them without their knowledge.

"Two, if you guys don't shape up and start actually putting some effort into this club, I'm walking and won't compete in Regional's, and Jesse sure as hell won't without me there with the way you guys treat him." As Kurt opened his mouth to say something in protest, she cut him off. "And don't give me any shit about being replaceable. You know you can't replace me, and there's no way in hell you stand a chance without Jesse or I."

The entire club looked extremely uncomfortable in the spotlight, something that Rachel was obviously using to her advantage.

"Oh, and three—Jesse told me about Shelby trying to get him to spy." As the shocked and suddenly attentive looks crossed their faces before outrage took place, he rolled his eyes; he was right about Rachel being mature and letting him explain. They just jumped to conclusions. "He turned her down and quit Vocal Adrenaline. He moved in with his uncle to be with me. To go to _this_ school." She was furious at this point, her volume ten times higher than when she had started out, much like starting out softly in a song before belting it out on a fly. "He's dedicated himself to this group even though you were obnoxious, rude, unwelcoming, and downright bitchy to him. Don't you _dare_ tell me he's spying on me. On us. I can date whoever the hell I please and you should give me the benefit of the doubt that I know what I'm doing."

And just like that, she walked out without a backwards glance. The shocked faces hadn't moved an inch as she gave the final few sentences of her long overdue speech, their minds not used to this whole new Rachel. He smirked a bit before giving them a look saying, _'This is completely your fault, not mine, so don't expect me to try and talk her out of this.'_

From that day forth, things were much better. Every single glee member came up to him to apologize, some more grudging than others, yet apologizing all the same. He was nice about it, saying he knew where they were coming from but don't fuck around with Rachel or he'd rearrange their face so badly, they wouldn't recognize themselves in the mirror no matter how much plastic surgery they got (that was mostly to Puck and Finn).

He had a free period at the end of the day and patiently waited for Rachel to come out of school. She came out much later than everyone else, the biggest grin he'd ever seen placed on her face. He noticed out of the corner of his eye many of the glee members, no doubt staring as if to see what was going on but not approaching the obviously private matter. She started to run as soon as she caught sight of him, her feet carrying her faster than he'd ever seen and the smile growing with each step. When she reached him, she launched herself at him, her arms going around his neck and legs around his waist before crashing her lips down onto his. He liked seeing her so happy, and he was pretty sure he knew why, but he wasn't going to ruin the moment by talking. Instead, he decided to make out with his stunning, smart, gorgeous, perfect-for-him girlfriend like the two teenagers they were. When she finally calmed down from her hype, she had tears in her eyes. He could tell they were happy ones because of the beautiful smile gracing her face, but he was still curious.

"And may I ask what has my dazzling girlfriend so excited about?" he asked a slight fake-British accent that was most definitely cheesy but made her giggle before getting all soft on him. She nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck, her eyes closing blissfully while in midair, he legs still wrapped around him.

"I can't believe you'd do that for me," she whispered. He didn't need to ask what she was talking about.

"I love you," he said to her for the very first time. "There's nothing I wouldn't do for you." He paused. "Well, except pull a Romeo and Juliet. That's just way over-used. Let's try and be a bit more original," he joked. She laughed, and he knew that even though he'd just confessed she already knew. Just like he knew she felt the same way before the words came out of her mouth.

"I love you too, even though I do think you really are more of a drama queen than I am." He struck a pose with her in his arms which sent her into another fit of giggles. He opened his car door with one hand and gently put her inside before shutting the door and walking to his own side. As he opened the door, he saw the glee kids, all of whom shared a secret smile at the scene of their obviously happy friend, but still not sure how they felt about them. He nodded politely in their direction and got into the driver's seat, not even waiting for a returned acknowledgment. He threw both their bags into the backseat and drove off towards the library, a place they had frequented as a reminder of where their love for each other first began.

In the backseat of the car, Rachel's bag had been hastily closed and therefore slightly left open. A few of her things, such as her pencil case, a small notebook, and her planner had fallen onto the floor unnoticed, along with a hastily opened letter.

_Dear Ms. Rachel Berry,_

_ It has come to our attention recently of your acceding skills in your academics. We would like to inform you that there are several colleges, all of which have very good programs and curriculums, which have offered you a full scholarship to their school where you can obtain your GED once you have finished this year in high school. From there, you are able to work on getting a degree in whichever path you wish to follow in the future, allowing you to finish college between the ages of twenty and twenty-four (depending on which career option you choose). Let it be known, this opportunity is very gracious and well-earned, as well as possibly a once in a life time opportunity. McKinley High will regret to see you leave, but will act as a proud parent all the same. Below are the few colleges offering a full scholarship._

_**University of Ohio State**_

_**University of Pennsylvania**_

_**University of Wisconsin-Madison**_

_**University of Maryland**_

_**Binghamton University**_

_**University of Delaware**_

_**University of California-Los Angeles**_

_Choose Wisely._

_Sincerely,_

_Principal Figgins, McKinley High School_

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**A/N:** Sorry if this seemed rushed, I really wanted to get it out for you guys. Also, some of you have been asking if I'm open to any suggestions or ideas. The answer is 100%, absolutely yes. :) I love getting ideas from my readers, especially because they're almost always fabulous and sometimes I just can't think of one I want to write at the moment and then someone comes up with one that I do want to write. So feel free to PM or review any ideas, thoughts, quotes you think might inspire something out of me, songs, lyrics, anything at all. :3 Anyways, because I'm not afraid to admit whatsoever that I will definitely beg for reviews, here's my little arrow for you just to draw you in and force you to review. :D

**REVIEW BY PRESSING THE LITTLE BUTTON DOWN THERE!**

**THIS IS NOT THE PEER PRESSURE TALKING.**

**IT'S YOUR CONSCIENCE. IT'S TELLING YOU TO CLICK IT.**

**CLLLLIIIIIICCCKKKK ME. GIVE IN.**

**I'LL GIVE YOU A COOOOKIE…**

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	5. Pranking Sue Sylvester

**A/N**: I'm sooo sorry about this super late update! I swear, you think teachers would give LESS homework to give you time to study for finals. But no. They give you three times more than you normally get. Anyways, my laptop is being fixed because it crashed on me (again—laptops and I don't have a good history…) so I have to use my Dad's work laptop. And while on the topic with my Dad, he must be a magician. Or god. Or something. Because he somehow managed to get 10 tickets to Glee Live! in NYC for 3pm on May 30. I know! Insanity! My sister still won't talk to me because I screamed in her ear too loudly when I found out…and my neighbors almost called the cops…but ANYWAYS, I'm SUPER DUPER excited and Glee this week was awesome, as were Jonathan Groff and Lea Michele of course. Also, just a side note, this is one of the first lemons I've actually posted on FanFiction so it might be a little bit suck-ish. Sorry. :3 So I'll end this short little rant of its own and let you actually read the one shot. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: Glee is owned by FOX.

**Summary**: Jesse and Rachel decide to pull a prank; chaos ensues.

**Category: **Glee

**Genre/s:** Romance/Humor

**Story Type:** AT

**Character Type:** Jesse/Major OOC, Rachel/Slight OOC

**Rating**: M (NC-17)

**Pairing**: St. Berry

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_**Inspiration Behind One-Shot: Can't Be Tamed by Miley Cyrus**_

Pranking Sue Sylvester

"'I just saw the hottest, most talented actor in the world!'

'Is his name Jonathan Groff?'

'NO.'

'Then he isn't the hottest, most talented actor in the world.'"

-Anonymous

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**Warning: This one-shot contains sexual activity not recommended for children under the age of 18. Viewer discretion is advised.**

"Rachel, are you sure this is such a good idea?"

"Come on Jesse, what's the worst that can happen?" Her tone was sarcastic and playful, but Jesse was honestly contemplating the current status of his girlfriend's status.

"Oh, I don't know…something along the lines of World War III? A nuclear war? Global warming?" Rachel turned to look at him and rolled her eyes, a small making its way onto her face nonetheless.

"Don't be such a drama queen, Jesse," she said before turning back to the task at hand. "Besides, if you want to play at that game, the odds of anything bad coming out of this are slim. And when I say slim I mean impossible. Somebody finding out we did this is like teenage girls all around the world suddenly stop obsessing over vampires and Twilight. NEVER GANNA HAPPEN."

Now it was Jesse's turn to roll his eyes, but his anticipation never wavered. "Can't you hurry up?"

Rachel sighed in exasperation and fully turned her body towards his, hands on her hips. "Do you want to pick the lock to Sue Sylvester's private office instead? Because I'm pretty damn sure I'm the only one out of the two of us who can." He pouted but said nothing, an unspoken agreement to let her continue in silence.

Rachel continued to work on the complex lock blocking herself and Jesse from pulling the greatest prank of all time. After a few near-heart attacks for Jesse when he heard 'footsteps' walking their way and several sentences of bickering exchanged between the two, the lock came up with a satisfying '_click'_.

"Yes," Rachel hissed in success before smirking. "Whoever said guys were better at this stuff can shove it." She was fully prepared to turn around and gloat about her job well done, but she froze when she heard the unmistakable sound of Sue Sylvester herself walking towards her office. She felt Jesse curse under his breath before he quickly pushed her into the office, locking the door behind him.

They both frantically looked for a place to hide before Rachel spotted a closet door. "Quick, in here!" she whispered. They both ran for the closet just as they heard the jingling of keys and the humming of what was in no doubt _Tik Tok_. Before Rachel could even begin to process that odd piece of information, Jesse was pulling her in with him, quietly closing the door just as Sue opened hers.

Sue, completely unaware of the two talented teenagers hiding in her supply closet, walked to her desk and sat down, going about her evil business of bringing down New Directions, plotting in her strange journal, and coming up with new insults about Will Shuester's hair gel. One would expect the two teens to be relieved in this situation, but neither seemed to be paying attention to Sue anymore. Instead, their minds started to play games with them as they acknowledged their close proximity in a closet meant for one, and definitely not two, people.

Rachel's cheeks were flushed a bright pink, her chest crushed against Jesse's and her thighs parted by his leg in between them. Every breath she took in intoxicated her with Jesse's scent and breath while every breath out made her dizzy with want and need. His arms were bent, palms flat against the wood on both sides of her head, her own awkwardly resting on his hips.

It wasn't like neither had been in suggestive positions such as this; in fact, Rachel and Jesse were very sexually active in their relationship, something that both were very happy about. While other teen couples struggled to make big decisions such as this, something that was a big hurdle to overcome in a relationship, Jesse and Rachel knew they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with each other. It was that simple, and, with the right protection from her fathers and the promise to respect her from him, the two found that taking that big step strengthened their relationship in many different ways. They trusted each other a lot more and finally didn't have to deal with all the pent-up sexual frustration; however, to Rachel, being inside this closet with Jesse again made her feel like she was first experiencing teenage hormones. Everything suddenly felt alive and in slow motion, her body buzzing in excitement. Just one false move—one slip of the hand, one caress, a slight misstep from either of them would set the other off. Neither would be able to remember the audience in the next room. Nothing else would matter. All they would be able to remember their names and the feel of their bodies pressed against each other.

For the first time since Rachel had found herself in that blasted closet, she heard Sue's voice and was brought back to reality for a moment.

"Thank god this room is soundproofed," she heard Sue mutter before getting up and rustling around for something.

Two things immediately raced through Rachel's head: first, what was Sue about to do that would require her office to be soundproofed? And second, Rachel didn't think she'd be able to hold herself back from Jesse now that she knew there was only one person in the school who would be able to hear them going at it in a closet. She could see the panic in Jesse's eyes, the pain he felt at being torn in two: chance being caught by Sue or wait to see what she does? Neither had to make any decisions because Sue decided for them—neither knew whether to feel relieved or worried for the coach's mental status as Miley Cyrus's _Can't Be Tamed_ blasted from a stereo somewhere in the room. Sue hummed along, completely oblivious that one of her darkest secrets—her obsession with the pop sensation—was being revealed.

_For those who don't know me, I can get a bit crazy  
Have to get my way, twenty-four hours a day  
'Cause I'm hot like that  
Every guy everywhere just gives me mad attention  
Like I'm under inspection, I always get the tens  
'Cause I'm good like that_

Rachel stared at Jesse not really knowing what to do then. In her opinion, they wouldn't be getting out of Sue's office for a while (especially since she seemed to be a roll with Miley, dance moves included by the sound of her footsteps) and she wasn't sure how much longer she would be able to take the sexual tension in the air.

_I go through guys like money flyin' out their hands  
They try to change me but they realize they can't  
And every tomorrow is a day I never planned  
If you're gonna be my man, understand_

"Jesse," she whimpered quietly as another wave of desire pulsed through her, every fiber of her being trying to pull her closer to him despite their current position. With a sense of glee, Jesse realized Sue couldn't hear a word over her ridiculously loud music. He leaned in towards Rachel's ear, one of his hands sliding down to her hair, running his fingers through the silky strands.

"Don't worry sweetheart, everything will be okay."

Jesse wasn't going to deny that he'd been feeling exactly what she had up until this point. In fact, he was pretty sure all the blood in his body had rushed downward, completely responsible for the huge tent in his already-tight pants. His erection was pressing against her skirt between her thighs, something that was most likely adding to the torture Rachel's body—and his own—was putting her through. He wanted to make her feel better and made an impulse decision.

_I can't be tamed, I can't be saved  
I can't be blamed, I can't, can't  
I can't be tamed, I can't be changed  
I can't be saved, I can't be (can't be)  
I can't be tamed_

"Sweetie, put your arms over your head," Jesse whispered soothingly in her ear, his breath making goose bumps rise up all over her arms.

"But Jesse, what about…" she whimpered back. He pecked her on the lips to silence her before gently wrapping his hands around her wrists and bringing them all the way above her head to rest against the wooden panel.

"Don't worry about any of that, just let me take care of you." He saw her nod faintly before closing her eyes, and he took that as an encouragement to begin.

_If I see my reflection about my intentions  
I'll tell ya I'm not here to sell ya  
Or tell ya to get to hell  
(I'm not a brat like that)  
I'm like a puzzle but all of my pieces are jagged  
If you can understand this, we can make some magic  
I'm on like that_

He leaned in and pressed his lips against hers once more, adding slightly more force than the first. Her response was immediate and his tongue plunged into her mouth, his and hers wrestling for dominance. He gently caressed her hips before tugging at the hem of her shirt and bringing it up over her head. She still had her white tank top on underneath, but even with the lack of clothing her cheeks were bright red; whether it was from the excitement, heat, or lack of body space he couldn't tell.

He brought his hands down to her chest and began to softly knead her breasts earning a low moan from her. He smiled at the sound, a sound only he could arouse from her. He ground his erection into her clothed center, the tip creating a delicious friction that elicited soft sighs of relief from each one of them. She broke away from their kiss briefly, her breaths coming out in loud heaves drowned out by Miley.

"Again," she whispered before attacking his mouth. He pushed against her again, only this time she held on and kept rubbing against him. The feeling sent desire coursing through his body, a new need and desire presenting itself. He roughly grabbed her thighs and brought them around his waist, pushing her flat against the wall and his erection fully pressed against her core. He pushed his hips forward over and over, each move educing a louder moan from the both of them. His hands worked faster, his mind whirling as he pushed the straps of her tank top and bra down her shoulders. He managed to pull both down to her abdomen before attacking her breasts with his mouth.

_I wanna fly I wanna drive I wanna go  
I wanna be a part of something I don't know  
And if you try to hold me back I might explode  
Baby by now you should know_

_I can't be tamed, I can't be saved  
I can't be blamed, I can't, can't  
I can't be tamed, I can't be changed  
I can't be saved, I can't be (can't be)  
I can't be tamed_

His tongue found her nipple, and she gasped in pleasure, her arms finally coming down so her hands could grasp tufts of his unruly brunette hair. "More," she groaned out. He sucked on it as his hand played with the other, his erection still keeping up a steady rhythm with her core. After all, they were performers—multitasking was a necessity. He nibbled on her erect nipple causing her to cry out, her fists tightening their hold on his hair. Jesse could have sworn her heard Sue stop dancing for a minute but immediately refocused his attention on Rachel when she whispered threateningly, "Jesse St. James, I swear to god if you don't continue what you were doing, there are going to be serious consequences; life and death consequences. _Literally_." He chuckled at the familiar line before continuing his ministrations. He traced his tongue to the other nipple, his thumb and index finger playing with the now wet one. He rolled it between his fingers, twisted, tugged, and pulled on it all while biting and sucking on the other.

"Jesse," she cried out loudly. He was surprised Sue couldn't hear them in here, even with her blasting music, yet he found himself thrilled at the thought of being caught in such a provocative position—in a teacher's office no less.

"Louder, Babe, I want you to yell my name." Her eyes fluttered open to meet his, excitement and desire mirroring one another.

"She'll—_ahh_—hear," she breathed out as he gave a sudden hard tug at her nipple and her body continued to bounce as they dry-humped each other.

"Let her," he huffed out before plunging back in. Rachel closed her eyes again, each thrust of their bodies making her face cloud over in emotion. He loved that about her; she never hid her feelings. Her face was like an open book, each emotion playing across her face like a key being pressed on a piano. He also loved how she was an open book, but he never fully understood her. Oh sure, he could read the pages, and they were simplistic enough, but he could never fully understand them. And right at that moment he could see everything on her face, but he could never understand it. Like how she still loves him even after he told her everything about Shelby, or when he told her he was the one to slip the tap into that box, and yet she was the one holding him after he confessed. Rachel Berry was like a saint, and he was the devil who was tainting her, ruining her. She seemed to notice how he had slowed down and she looked at him.

"What's wrong?" she asked softly, passion thrown aside at the look of distress on his face.

_I'm not a trick you play, I ride a different way  
I'm not a mistake, I'm not a fake, It's set in my DNA  
Don't change me  
(I can't be tamed)_

"Why do you love me?" he asked quietly, his hands tracing her curves before landing on her waist. "_How_ can you still love me?" Her eyebrows crinkled together in confusion.

"Are you breaking up with me?" she asked. He laughed incredulously at the insanity of her question.

"You're asking me if I'm breaking up with you? Rachel, any guy would have to be completely out of his mind or ridiculously stupid to dump you."

She sighed and he immediately knew where her mind took her to—the one person who she'd ever had a relationship with before himself: Finn Hudson.

Jesse kissed her forehead gently before saying, "Finn _is_ an idiot, something that can absolutely be proved by his report card and fully backs up my point." She giggled for a bit before looking at him in misery.

"Then why are you so sad?" He set her down gently, her torso still completely naked and her face still flushed. He softly rubbed her red cheek with the back of his hand before giving her a morose grin.

"It never made sense to me," he whispered.

_I'm not a trick you play, I ride a different way  
I'm not a mistake, I'm not a fake, It's set in my DNA  
Don't change me  
(I can't be tamed)_

"What never made sense?" she asked, her hands running themselves through his soft hair and sending shivers down his body. He knew what her reaction would be when he told her; he was prepared for the onslaught of protestations that were meant to placate him when in reality, they would only make him feel worse.

"I hurt you," he whispered in agony, "I hurt you more than anyone should ever have to be hurt. I betrayed you." Her hands had stopped moving at that point, and he could see the wheels in her head turning a hundred miles per hour. "You're not supposed to be with someone like me." Every word hurt like a dagger piercing his heart, every wound like a burning hole in his chest. He could feel the need to cry, to let out all his pent up emotions, but instead he put on a show face; however, even his show face couldn't stop his voice from breaking on his last sentence. "You're not supposed to love me."

He braced himself for reassurances, condolences. Instead he found a contemplating Rachel Berry, every silent second passing feeling like a minute. Finally she shrugged in nonchalance.

"You're right." He blinked. He was…_what?_

"I'm…right?" he asked confused. She nodded in confidence, her eyes blazing but her posture calm as if she wasn't half naked with him in Sue Sylvester's office closet and they weren't anywhere near the topic of the future of their complex relationship.

"You're right," she repeated. "I'm not supposed to love you. You hurt me more than you could ever imagine when you lied to me about your intentions of befriending and then seducing me, and you also manipulated my insecure, yet expected feelings about my mother. You're worse than Finn in a sense, and everything is telling me to walk away right now, even if I am topless and I would be practically naked in front of Sue Sylvester…even if I do think she's lesbian."

He ignored the last part about Sue as he felt his entire world stop cold. For a moment, he truly believed he was dying from the pain he felt; then he realized he couldn't be dying if the pain wasn't fading. All he could feel was the excruciating pain in his chest, the burning of bile that rose in his throat…the knowledge that he very well might be about to lose the love of his life.

"Rachel," he hoarsely whispered, but she cut him off with a simple kiss on his lips. He wanted to freeze time, to just stay like that forever with her, not because of passion, but because he truly believed this to be the last kiss they shared.

"Shh, just listen," she said. "You're right, and it's because of all those things I just said." He cringed and had to hold himself back from the reflex reaction of grabbing the material resting over his heart. "But I want you to tell me something Jesse St. James." He nodded in apprehension. "Do you think I'm stupid?"

The simple question caught him of guard before panic set in. "NO! Not at all, I'd never think that of you Rachel!" he said hurriedly. She sighed in exasperation like he was missing the big picture, the whole point of this.

"Then don't you think I know that?" she said slightly louder than she should have. "Don't you get that I know what I'm risking? I know you could easily break my heart again, I know I'm stupid for trusting you again, and I know that if you do break my heart again, it's all over for me. I'll never recover from it, and I'll never love again." He shook his head like he still didn't understand her, and she rolled her eyes before grabbing his chin and pulling his face towards hers, their noses centimeters apart, eyes locked on one another. "I trust you not to break my heart again, and I know that you'd never break my heart intentionally. You not only admitted the entire plot with Shelby at the expense of your very successful future, something that means a hell of a lot to you, but you also helped me through the problems that arose when I found out she was my mother. You stayed Jesse. The only time you left was when I hurt you, and you had every right to. But you forgave me just as I have forgiven you. So you, Jesse St. James, are right: I'm not supposed to love you. But then please ask yourself, _why am I still here_?" He blinked when her stern expression turned into a blinding grin. "Because I love you."

The words, although important, were common enough. They'd said them to each other countless times, each time completely intended and truthful; however, this time Jesse felt a thrill when she said them. He couldn't explain its rationalization in words, nor could he describe the feeling it gave him. All he knew was that he couldn't even remember when his lips had claimed hers once more.

_I wanna fly I wanna drive I wanna go  
I wanna be a part of something I don't know  
And if you try to hold me back I might explode  
Baby by now you should know_

Sue was still completely ignorant to what was going on in her office having decided it was her mind playing tricks on her, and she had been singing the lyrics on top of her lungs for the several minutes Jesse and Rachel had been talking. If she had been suspicious before, she sure as hell wasn't anymore—this could be used as serious blackmail.

Jesse was grinning into the kiss, his whole body feeling like it was melting and his brain doped up on Rachel Berry. His erection was back full force in a matter of seconds as were Rachel's insistent moans of pleasure. He pinched her nipples earning a gasp from her before suckling on the small crevice between her breasts. Her head banged lightly on the wood as she let her head fall back, her breath coming out in gasps. He slowly traveled down her abdomen, licking his way all the way down to the button of her jeans. With a simple, much practiced flick, the button was undone and her jeans were already on their way down her legs. Jesse nearly had a heart attack at what he saw. Rachel had decided to go commando for the day.

He could see how wet her jeans were because she hadn't worn panties, and he wiggled his eyebrows at her.

"I see someone's a little excited."

"Fuck off," she mumbled, her mind only paying attention to the finger that was stroking her lips. She whimpered when it dipped into her wet folds slightly, his finger feeling ice cold compared to the heat she felt. "Jesse," she sighed. He smiled in satisfaction at the sound of her voice calling his name like that and decided to stroke his ego a bit more. With no warning, he shoved two fingers into her causing her to shout his name.

_I can't be tamed, I can't be saved  
I can't be blamed, I can't, can't  
I can't be tamed, I can't be changed  
I can't be saved, I can't be (can't be)  
I can't be tamed_

He started a steady rhythm as he pushed them in and out, sometimes going a bit faster bringing her to the brink before slowing back down. His other hand had gone back up to fondle her breasts, her mind trying to focus on both places he was pleasuring her. She moaned his name loudly when he added a third finger. She cried out when he brought her to her first climax. She screamed his name in ecstasy when he ducked underneath her and put his mouth on her already-sensitive clit. Jesse started to get a bit nervous about Sue, so he took off his shirt to give her to bite down on. She looked at him gratefully before her eyes rolled to the back of her head as Jesse started to suck on her clit again. Her body collapsed, the only thing holding her up being the wall of support behind her and Jesse's shoulders that her thighs were currently residing on.

He let his teeth gently graze the sensitive flesh, and he could hear the muffled cry of pleasure she gave. She bucked against his mouth, her body craving that delicious friction Jesse was so good at creating. He seemed to be teasing her, his tongue starting to roam everywhere, every so often dipping in all the way. She could see the room spinning around her, and she realized for the first time she was literally shaking head to toe in pleasure. She felt like her body was on fire, the blaze spreading quickly through her veins down to her core. She shakily took the muffler out of her mouth and said in a breathy voice, "Jesse." He didn't seem to hear here because he kept up his teasing, this time his teeth biting down harder on her clit. She quickly stuffed the gag in to muffle her scream. God, she was so _close_. She needed a release; she needed him to take her over the edge. "Jesse, _please_," she croaked, begging him. She could feel his mouth curve upwards before he plunged his tongue all the way into her, thrusting it in and out at an incredibly fast rate. Her gasps were too loud, the blood in her eyes was rushing too fast, everything seemed to be fast forwarding. She felt her orgasm approaching at a fast rate, she knew it would only be a matter of seconds.

Suddenly, Miley's voice stopped although the song still had about thirty seconds left. They could both hear someone knocking on Sue's office door, her grumbles about privacy and her walking to the door. But it was too late.

Rachel had reached her peak, her body falling over the edge as enormous waves of pleasure raked through her entire body. She subconsciously opened her mouth to scream out, but Jesse quickly shoved the gag in her mouth. The scream, although muffled, could still be heard in the closet and both held their breath waiting to be discovered.

It was Mr. Shuester at the door to their surprise. The two faculty members exchanged a few much expected threats and insults before Mr. Shuester walked into the office, closing the door. Realizing there really might be no chance at escaping now, Rachel began to panic before she felt Jesse move underneath her. She looked down in confusion before her eyes widened in shock. He wouldn't…

Jesse was starting to unbutton his pants, the zipper sounding as loud as a waterfall in a desert. He pushed his jeans, along with his boxers, down his toned, but not too muscular, legs. She stared down at his erection, still not used to his size even with the countless times they slept together. She still never understood to this day how he fit into her tiny body, but she supposed that wasn't so important. He took the gag out of her mouth before swooping down and claiming her lips.

"I love you," he whispered before pecking her on the lips again. "I love you so much, sweetheart." She grinned at the cheesy nickname he used, something she had never really noticed before, and decided it was her favorite pet name. He kept her mind busy with his lips on hers as his hands gently brought her thighs up around his waist. His erection brushed against her heated core and she moaned quietly, head falling back slightly. He leaned in with her, her hands wrapping around his neck before slightly picking her lower body up and placing it right on top of him. She rubbed against his tip a few times, each time it going in just a little bit more and each time causing both teens to sigh blissfully.

"I'm never leaving you, you know," he mumbled, his lips vibrating against hers due to their close proximity.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," she whispered back lovingly.

And with those words, he gently pushed into her. She gasped in pleasure, her muscles tensing before relaxing at his size. He started a slow pace at first, his and her hips meeting at the middle as they bounced up and down; the momentum began to build, his thrusts become harder and faster, her cries becoming louder and louder until she brought the gag up to her mouth once more as a muffler—she didn't think she could hold them in. The two were completely unaware of the make-out session going on outside their own little bubble—did they honestly think they were just magically getting away with making love in Sue Sylvester's closet—and neither heard the two teachers leave hurriedly, muttering something about an empty janitor's closet.

"Jesse," she gasped after a while, "I think they're gone."

"I do too Sweetheart, I do too," he panted.

"Let's finish together," she muttered before another cry bubbled up from her mouth. "I want us to cum together." She could feel a faint nod against her body before they both quickened the pace, both eagerly awaiting to tumble over the edge with each other. With one last thrust, Jesse let go with a cry as his seed spilled into her, her walls clamping around his member as her own orgasm washed over her. The two stood panting and sweaty, neither moving, Jesse still inside Rachel.

"If we want to make this relationship work, you can't have any regrets," she mumbled tiredly. He nodded in understanding, his hands running through her hair soothingly.

"Like I said, I'm never going to leave you." She gave a sign of satisfaction with his answer before laying her head down on his chest.

"By the way, I'm pretty sure we just skipped a few classes," she said on an after thought.

"Most likely."

"And we're probably going to get in trouble with Figgins."

"Don't we always?" She looked up into his eyes and glared.

"And what is _that_ supposed to mean?" He could almost imagine a Rachel Berry with her hands on her hips, eyes narrowed accusingly. He grinned down at her.

"Well, aren't you my partner in crime?" She huffed but smiled a little at the line. She didn't give him an answer, instead choosing to stay in the moment a while longer before they had to clean up and attempt to go to at least some of their classes for the day. After a few moments of silence, he spoke again.

"We'll do okay, Rachel Berry." She smiled, eyes shut in peace.

"Not with the amount of drama we bring, babe." He rolled his eyes.

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**A/N:** Sooooo a super duper long one just for you guys. :) This one came out to about 5,400 words or more, which is a new record I believe, so as a presssseeeeent you know what I want ;) Also, just as an afterthought, Tik Tok does happen to be an overplayed song and is only slightly irritating at this point, but Miley's new song really is fantastic. :3 Anyways, please

**REVIEW!**

**PLEASE. Seriously.**

**You know how the wicked witch melts with water?**

**I melt without reviews, which means NO MORE STORIES!**

***gasp***

**EXACTLY.**

**SO REVIEW!**

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	6. Slushies

**A/N**: Thanks so much to Arcadia Pendragon for the story idea! I think my next one-shot is going to be a story idea from wickedglee, so hopefully I'll get in another update soon. :) This was a bit rushed, considering how I spent about two hours in total on it when I usually spend hours or days, so sorry for the slight crapiness of my writing. :3 Also, thanks soooo much to everyone who's been reviewing and subscribing and such to me and this collection, it means the world to me!

_PS_-4 days in counting until Glee Live!

**Disclaimer**: Glee is owned by FOX.

**Summary**: Jesse finds out about Rachel getting slushied. His reaction? Just as colorful as the iced drink.

**Category: **Glee

**Genre/s:** Romance/Drama

**Story Type:** AT

**Character Type:** Jesse/Major OOC, Rachel/Slight OOC

**Rating**: T (PG-13)

**Pairing**: St. Berry

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_**Inspiration Behind One-Shot: Mistakes We Knew We Were Making by Mae**_

Slushies

"'_Tarry, good Beatrice. By this hand, I love thee.'_

_'Use it for my love some other way than swearing by it.'"_

_-Much Ado About Nothing, Shakespeare_

_

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_

Dating Jesse St. James was a little bit like dating your best friend: he knows everything about you like the back of his hand. Unfortunately, his perception comes with stubbornness, and Rachel Berry didn't know how to deal with a persistent Jesse. He had caught on only a few months after their Regional's victory when he realized the excessive amount of clothes she went through in a day.

"Why did you change again," he asked curiously, his eyebrows crunched together in confusion. She tensed as she struggled to find a believable lie, something that wouldn't give him any more information than he needed.

"Um, Quinn spilled some soda on me," she said sheepishly.

"Rachel," he said suspiciously, "Quinn doesn't drink regular soda." Her eyes widened a bit before she calmed down slightly and continued to walk with him to the one class they shared together despite their grade difference: art.

"It was diet, of course she doesn't drink regular soda. She's already freaking out about how much weight she's gained from the baby." The moment she said it, she realized her mistake and knew he would catch her red handed.

"Quinn can't drink diet soda, Rach. She's preggers, remember?" He stopped her with a single touch to her shoulder, his eyes anticipating some sort of explanation as to why she was lying to him about her wardrobe malfunction. She sighed before grabbing his hand and pulling him with her towards art; after all, she had a perfect-attendance record to keep up.

"It's nothing really, I just like to change outfits every once and a while."

"Uh huh, and I'm gay."

"Well…" He lightly pinched the side of her stomach making her break out into a fit of giggles. Despite the slight tension in the air, the two were all smiles in the halls, and if anyone walked by they wouldn't be able to tell there was a problem at all.

"I'm not gay, and I'm pretty sure I've proved that _multiple_ times. Just because I sing show tunes and gel my hair does not mean I like that male population in a sexual manor…although I might be able to see why they'd view me in that way." She rolled her eyes at the slight amount of truth in his humor. He stopped her in front of the art room door, his hands resting on her shoulders, smile gone and a serious look playing on his face.

"I'm serious though, Rachel, I want to know if there's a problem. If something's wrong, I want to know about it, as your boyfriend and best friend. And I especially don't want us to have to lie to each other."

Guilt replaced the apprehension she had felt earlier and she sighed in defeat.

"I'll tell you inside," she grumbled. His face instantly brightened and he smiled down at her.

"Shall we?" She took his outstretched hand and together they walked in, both heading towards their usual table. They both sat at the corner back table, a perfect place to talk quietly and still get work done without getting in trouble by their grouchy, middle-aged art teacher. They silently grabbed canvases, paintbrushes, cups of water, and paintbrushes before sitting down and beginning their work like the good students they were. The teacher, who was trying to quiet down the rambunctious teenagers in the front, was grateful for the couple beginning their work obediently, as usual—something that caused him to leave them be, even when they talked quietly to one another, or when he happened to be "looking away" every time they broke the no PDA rule.

"So are you going to tell me now?" Jesse murmured as his hand made effortless strokes across his canvas, art being another stunning talent of his. She stared the blankness of her own page and thought for a moment. After a beat of silence, he looked at her.

"Rachel?" She responded by picking up a paintbrush and dipping it in water and red paint before slowly bringing it up to her page. Her depictions seemed to make no sense to him, blotches of red here and there, some spots turning green and purple as she added blue and yellow to the page. Before he knew it, her canvas was what looked like the after-effects of someone throwing up skittles.

"Are you going to talk to me?" he asked after a while.

"This," she said pointing to her painting, "is why I change clothes so often." He looked at it in confusion before looking at her in concern. He brought a hand up to her forehead, no doubt checking to see if she had a fever.

"Are you feeling okay, Rach?" She swatted his hand away before looking him dead in the eye, her confidence soaring.

"The football team seems to really like slushies, even in the fall and winter." His face was still dominated by a look of confusion before understanding dawned on him. She could see every muscle visible to the eye freeze, the tension in his shoulders, and the burning anger in his eyes as he looked back at her painting.

"They throw slushies at you? _Every day?_" He stressed the last phrase like it was physically painful for him to say. She sighed and nodded, her head coming down to lean on her palm, elbow resting on the table.

"You know," she began, "I'm not even sure when it started becoming a ritual. I guess they just got so used to it, it's almost like part of my daily schedule." He spun her chair around to face him, her eyes meeting his own. Hers were accepting, like this was just something she would have to deal with until she graduated high school; his were pleading, pained.

"You have to say something to someone about this," he begged. She was shaking her head before he finished his sentence.

"Jesse, you can't just eliminate something that's part of the social hierarchy in high school. It's just what comes with being at the bottom of the totem pole, I've accepted that."

"Don't!" he stressed. "Don't let them do this to you." She put a reassuring hand on his cheek, her fingers stroking it softly.

"It's fine Jesse, it's not a big deal. I'm okay," she whispered before giving him a small peck on the lips. The rest of art was spent in silence between the two, her just dragging a dry brush across her page to look like she was painting, and his coming out looking like a masterpiece. The bell rang and both exchanged a tense hug and kiss before walking separate ways down the hall to their next class.

The next three periods passed by in a slow and agonizing pace, each tick of the clock adding to her frustration. Things hadn't gone as she had wanted with Jesse, and she wanted to fix them as much as possible. When the teacher let them out early, she was the first one out the door. She knew this was Jesse's study period so she went looking for him, searching high and low. She checked the library, the auditorium, the music room, the art room, the cafeteria, and even some of the empty classrooms. He was nowhere to be found. Her heart sagging in defeat, Rachel dragged herself to get her books for her last class of the day.

English was normally her favorite subject of the day, both because of the actual work they did and because it happened to be the class with her favorite teacher. Rachel was known for her consistency and hard work, so Mr. Rubin was slightly surprised when his star pupil couldn't seem to focus on the material he was teaching for more than forty-seven seconds (he counted) at a time, nor could she sit in her seat without fidgeting or looking at the clock. He was prepared to ask he what was wrong as soon as school let out, but she was out the door like the roadrunner.

She walked quickly out of the building with all her things, her mind set on finding Jesse if it was the last thing she did. That was when she noticed a huge group of boys standing in a circle and cheering, _Fight! Fight! Fight!_ Her heart stopped short, icy liquid filling her veins. _He wouldn't…_

She roughly pushed her way through all the immature and pubescent boys who were no doubt getting off from whatever was going on, and when she got to the center she saw her beautiful boyfriend…well, not so beautiful. His lip was cut, blood trickling down his chin, bruises already forming on his pale skin and his eye turning a nasty shade of purple. She nearly had a heart attack until she saw the three boys across from him, all of whom were in an even worse state. They were from the football team, some of the more popular ones for picking on the weaker, like herself. For the damage done to the three muscle-men, she was skeptical in believing Jesse had been the sole defender. Her eyes roamed the crowd before they stopped on one Noah "Puck" Puckerman. Puck was in almost the same state as Jesse, but he didn't have a black eye, and he seemed a bit more…fit to fight guys on the football team, unlike Jesse whose muscle was from exercising in ballet and performing. One of the guys lunged for Jesse, the other two holding back Puck from defending him. Her mind hadn't caught up with her actions yet, and she suddenly found herself in between the two.

The jock looked at her in surprise, his fist an inch from her face. Jesse's looked at her in horror, his mind going through the possibilities of what would have happened if the guy had been quicker. She glared up at the football player.

"Leave." He laughed outright at her and dropped his fist, the rest of the crowd joining in except for Puck, and who she thought were Finn, Quinn, Kurt, and Mercedes although she couldn't be sure.

"You expect me to listen to someone like you? Shove of Berry, you might want to get out of the way before you break a nail or something and can't go to your gay glee club anymore." Snickers and shouts of, "Ooooooh," filled the crowd but she didn't pay them any attention. Instead she took a step forward, her mind faintly aware of Jesse's hand pulling her back but she stood her ground.

"I'm going to count to three," she said menacingly, and for a moment he looked like a deer caught in headlights. "If I get to three and all of you aren't out of here, I'll make sure you'll never be able to make babies. Got it?" The guy looked like he was panicking, his brain telling him to run but his pride telling him not to run away from a girl that he had tortured for the past three years of his life.

"_One_." He stood his ground, but the crows seemed to back up slightly.

"_Two._" People started walking away, some faster than others, and he took a step back, both of his goons already gone. When she was about to say three, she looked at him pointedly and opened her mouth—

"I'M SORRY!" he cried before running away with his tail between his legs. She sighed in relief before turning to Jesse, the two of them the only ones left in the parking lot, everyone else having fled. She looked at him sadly and in sympathy, her hand gently touching a bruise on his cheek but pulling back when he hissed in pain.

"Why'd you do it?" she asked softly, her hands placed on his chest, her big brown eyes looking up at him. He glared at the sidewalk childishly, purposely not looking at her.

"It pissed me off. Nobody has the right to treat you like that." She sighed but didn't reply, instead opting to pull him towards her car with all their stuff. She got into the driver's seat, neither worried about leaving his car overnight, and he got into the passenger's side. She started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot, her hands subconsciously bringing them to her house while her mind was otherwise preoccupied. Jesse twiddled with his thumbs, flipped through different stations, and played with the air controls. Finally he couldn't take the silence anymore and spoke up.

"It's not like I'm fighting your battles or anything," he said in his defense, "but Rachel, those guys have no right to put you through that every day. It doesn't matter how common it seems. It's not right." She was about to say something, but he cut her off and began talking hurriedly. "But you should be able to come to me about this kind of stuff!" It exploded out of his mouth and he was suddenly ranting, his emotions still raging from the fight. "I don't want to be the boyfriend who can't be depended on, I don't want to be _that guy_ who seems like he doesn't even care about anyone else's feelings." He gently cupped her chin, totally disregarding the fact that she was driving, and gave her such a sincere, pleading look it nearly broke her heart. "I care about you Rachel; I've never loved anyone like I love you. Actually, I've never loved _anyone_ before you. It's only you. Just you," he whispered. She pulled over to the side of the road, put the car in park, and gave him her full attention.

"Jesse, I don't feel like you're fighting my battles, and I trust you more than anyone in the world," she said gently to him. "But I also can't expect you to be there all the time for me. There are bad people in the world, people who walk all over others to get to the top. I have to accept that as a part of life, as do you if either of us wants to go into show biz." He sighed and nodded glumly, head dragging down but was pulled back up by her hand under his chin. "But I appreciate you sticking up for me." She smiled and his responding grin was breathtaking. "And I love you too, but that doesn't mean I necessarily want you to go get beat up for me. After all, I can't let there be any permanent damage if I'm going to be with you the rest of my life."

She could have sworn his ears would have twitched at that like a cat's or dog's would, and his face perked up.

"You can really imagine spending the rest of your life with me?" he asked eagerly like a little boy on Christmas (or Hanukkah) morning. "Like marriage and kids and stuff?"

She grinned at him before rolling her eyes. "No," she said sarcastically before she looked at him in humorous incredulity. His response was immediate, his body draped between both sides of the car, his lips locked on hers as he kissed her senseless. She grinned into the kiss, her response just as enthusiastic. He broke away for a minute, his eyes searching hers.

"Does that mean you're fabulous CD collection will become mine as well when we get married?" She snorted and rolled her eyes before diving back into the kiss.

* * *

**A/N:** I wanted to get another one up pretty quickly, so that explains the crappy writing of this one-shot. I'll just edit later. :) I hope you liked it, and whether you did, didn't, or really just skimmed the page, please, please, please

**REVIEW!**

**I'm no longer melting, but now I….uhhh…**

**Oh well, might as well just say it outright:**

**I will die without your reviews.**

**Not literally, of course, but all the same.**

**REVIEW! FOR A COOKIE?**

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	7. The Assignment

**A/N**: Glee Live was AMAZINGGGG! I was sitting in the third row, and Lea Michele was fantastic! She hit every note perfectly, as expected, and Jonathan Groff came at the end. Aside for screaming to the point where I lost my voice for three days and crying harder than I've ever cried (even more than at a funeral as pathetic as it seems), Jonathan Groff being there was my dream come true. :) I also started crying in the middle of the street in NYC when my brother in law's brother's girlfriend showed me a picture she took of him, but that's a different story. :P This one-shot is in dedication to Jesse St. James, who I refuse to believe is as heartless as he seemed on this last episode. You could see the obvious pain he was in while she was being egged, and there's obviously something he's pissed about so hopefully we'll see the resolution in the season finale (where [SPOILER] Rachel unfortunately kisses Finn. Ugh. Eww). Anyways, hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: Glee is owned by FOX.

**Summary**: Rachel can't get over Jesse's betrayal, and finds solace in Mr. Schue's assignment for her.

**Category: **Glee

**Genre/s:** Romance/Hurt/Comfort

**Story Type:** AT

**Character Type:** Jesse/Major OOC, Rachel/Major OOC

**Rating**: T (PG-13)

**Pairing**: St. Berry

* * *

_**Inspiration Behind One-Shot: Shipwreck by Starfield**_

The Assignment

"'_Do it. Break it like you broke my heart.'_

'_I loved you.'"_

_-Rachel Berry (Lea Michele) and Jesse_

_St. James (Jonathan Groff), Glee_

_

* * *

_

She was humiliated, heartbroken, and lifeless; it was bad enough Jesse had left WMHS and New Directions to go back to Carmel High and Vocal Adrenaline, but then he embarrassed her in front of all his friends and threw the pieces of her broken heart on the ground before crushing them with his shoe. She'd slept three hours total in the past five days, she was falling behind in every single one of her classes, and she couldn't find the strength or will to put feeling into Glee. Jesse St. James had accomplished what he came to do: he destroyed Rachel Berry.

Mr. Schuester noticed the signs right away—the not eating, the monosyllabic answers, and the bags under her eyes—and instantly grew worried. Rachel might still be a teenage girl who has her life full ahead of her, but she was also the glue that held everything together. She brought together the Glee club, despite their hatred towards her, and her talent brought tears, joy, and passion to those around her. Rachel Berry was important, and Jesse crushed that confidence and reduced her to this. If there was ever a time for an intervention, it was now.

He called her after practice and she gave a slight nod. She looked tired, worn out, frail, and a little too boney than she used to be—she'd lost weight. She didn't look him in the eyes, and he wondered what he would have seen in hers if she had. Sorrow? Sadness? Depression?

"Rachel, I wanted to talk to you about the whole Vocal Adrenaline fiasco," he started. She flinched at the name of the opposing team but gave no other indication that she had heard him. He took this as a sign to continue. He pulled a chair up behind the piano and motioned for her to sit down, which she did, and he took a seat next to her. "Rachel, I've been noticing the way you've been acting the past couple of weeks, and you really have me worried." She still wouldn't look up at him, but this time she answered.

"Mr. Schue, I don't know what you're talking about," she said. Her voice was hollow, drained. He sighed.

"Rachel, you're not eating, you're not sleeping, and at the rate you're going, you won't be able to pass sophomore year." No response. He tried a different tactic; if she wasn't going to talk to him, he was going to have to force a reaction out of her. "Your boyfriend used you and embarrassed you, your biological mother sabotaged her connection to you, and all of Vocal Adrenaline thinks you're a silly little girl with two gay dads, a horrible fashion sense, and lack of talent." Her head snapped up at this, eyes angry. He had never been as blunt as he had been just now, but this was necessary.

"You think I don't know that," she whispered venomously. "You think I don't realize he used me? How she used me? My own fucking mother hates me enough that she wanted to break me so badly that I'd never be able to overcome it! My own mother!" She was shouting now, her voice breaking. "I give up." She put her head in her hands, completely covering her face. "It's all gone: the need to sing, the feeling of Jesse's love, the happiness and feeling of content that I used to have, it's all gone." Her shoulders started to shake, loud sobs coming from her mouth. He looked at her in pity, his heart aching for the girl he thought of as a daughter.

"Rachel, I'm going to tell you something and you need to listen very carefully," he said cautiously. She was still crying, but he knew she was listening. "There were only three things Vocal Adrenaline took from you: one, Jesse stole your heart. You're a teenager, and while that's completely understandable, it's not the end of the world. If you and him are meant to be, it will happen," he said softly, "but you can't let him get to you like this. If he truly loved or loves you, it only means he's hurt right now and you don't know why. But he would hate to see you like this." She nodded into her hands to motion for him to continue.

"Two, Shelby was never in your life. She may have manipulated you, but you were perfectly fine before she came into your life. She's cruel and uncaring, and she broke the law to hurt you. She's a bad person, Rachel. There's a reason why you have the two amazing dads that you do and not her as a mother. Trust in your fathers' love, trust them as people—they've raised you your entire life, and I'm sure if you talked to them about them they can sue Shelby and she'll be out of your life for good." She was still crying, and his heart broke just a little bit more at the sight of the poor girl.

"And three," he whispered, "is that they took your confidence." She wailed at this, more tears brimming her eyes before spilling over and he gently rubbed her back sympathetically. "You became so dependent on the happiness others brought you; you forgot the happiness you bring yourself from your own singing, your own dancing, your own _life_. You need to take that back Rachel."

She looked up at him again, her eyes rimmed in red, her cheeks flushed and stained with tears. Her hair was matted to her face, and she just looked…empty. "Mr. Shue, I'll never be as good as them. I have no talent. I've been relying on this little fantasy since I was a little girl that I could get by one the talent I have, but I can't! I can't do anything right!" She growled in frustration at her own pathetic self before letting out a loud, bone-chilling scream.

"That's not true Rachel, and you know it!" he said in her defense. "The Rachel Berry I know wouldn't stand for this. She'd work harder than she's ever worked, she'd get to Regional's and she'd show the people who hurt her that she's her own person and is better than them. That she's a winner." She looked at him sadly before whispering something to him; the very same thing that had been bothering her for the past few weeks…the very same thing that was the cause of all of this.

"I still love him, Mr. Schue," she whispered in agony, "and it hurts so much. I want it to stop. I don't want to love him, I want to be able to finally give into Finn and let him take me out, I want to be able to look at other men and feel _something_ instead of immediately comparing them to him." Her words were coming out faster now, her voice desperate. "I still love him even though he humiliated me in front of all his friends. I still wait in bed for him every night, waiting for him to crawl through my window in the dead of night like he used to and I'd fall asleep in his arms. I just…I love him," she whispered at the end. She looked up at him after that, her voice breaking as she said the end of her speech: "…Doesn't that count for anything anymore?"

He took everything in that she had said and processed it, his mind trying to come up with a solution to her problems. After a few moments, he looked at her determined.

"You know what Rachel," he said, "I think I'm going to give you your own personal Glee assignment this week. For next Monday, I want you to find a song that expresses everything you're feeling now. I want you to find the song that explains all your feeling about Jesse, Shelby, and Vocal Adrenaline. Anything that's wrong with your life, I want you to find a song, or find multiple songs. Anything you come up with, I'll let you sing first thing in Glee Club Monday, deal?" She looked at him tiredly, wanting nothing more than to go home before sighing in defeat. She nodded in agreement.

For the next three days, Rachel looked up thousands of songs, many of them being songs she liked, but none fitting the assignment. None of them truly expressed how she was feeling. She sighed in frustration as she threw another music book down on the library table, pulling at her hair. This was impossible. She was about to give up when she heard a familiar laugh. Her head whipped around just in time to see Jesse laughing with his friends in another isle. They hadn't seen her, but they were laughing at some open book. She could clearly see the way his friends surrounded themselves around him; to them, he was their only hope at having a future, the center of their universe. The pain she felt was unbearable, and she was pretty should she was either about to throw up or pass out. She was about to look away, to quickly get up and leave, but his eyes found hers and the smile slipped off his face.

It was like he had just stabbed a million daggers into her body, the pain spreading throughout her body. Her heart was racing, her blood ran cold, and she couldn't remember how to look away from his face. She didn't see the flash of concern that passed across his features before it disappeared, but she did notice the rest of his friends following his gaze towards her. Some smirked before bravely walking up to her, him following instead of leading this time.

"Well, well, well," the lead female of VA sneered, "if it isn't little Miss Rachel Berry. What are you doing in this section Rachel? It's not like you even have the talent to perform any of these songs." Jesse stared at her blankly, but his heart was pushing him to defend her, practically forcing him to stand up for the girl he loves (although he did lie to her when he said he didn't love her anymore—that was just for his own satisfaction to placate his aching heart). He resisted.

Her mind immediately took her to Mr. Schue's conversation with her and she realized he was right—she had lost all confidence in herself.

"Look, she's so stupid she can't even form a proper response," another snarled. Attacks started coming from her at all directions, about twelve members of VA surrounding her little table, giving her no escape route. Jesse stayed silent. They soon grew bored, and Rachel had yet to speak. Jesse willed her to stand up for herself, to fight back. He knew it wasn't coming though. He couldn't easily see the state she was in, the state he had put her in. They had both done this to each other, both hurting the other until it exploded. Now, after she had hurt him, he hurt her back and both were unhappy. But even with his unhappiness came the satisfied feeling of being with VA, with people who respected him and that ensured him a future. Rachel looked like she had nothing right now, and that was his fault. He was frustrated at the guilt he felt, the guilt he didn't want to feel because this wasn't just his fault. It was Rachel's for making that stupid video, for not telling him about Finn singing Jesse's Girl to her like it was some sort of secret, and for breaking his heart when she kept choosing her team over him. It was Shelby's fault for making him start all this, for holding his UCLA scholarship over his head, out of reach, and for letting him fall in love with Rachel, the only girl he's ever loved.

"Let's go guys, being around this loser is making me a bit nauseous," the lead female said. It was like a flock of birds, one following the other in a uniform manor. The only one left was Jesse standing next to her table. She refused to look at him, instead opting to ignore the pain she felt and opened up another one of her books in search of a song. He watched her, silently asking her to look up. When she didn't, he decided it didn't matter.

"This isn't only my fault. You're as much to blame as I am." She kept quiet, but she hadn't turned a single page yet and he knew she was listening. A few beats passed before he started to walk away.

"There's always going to be one difference between us Jesse," she whispered. He stopped and slowly turned back to her, completely ignoring his friends who were impatiently waiting for him by the entrance of the library.

"Oh yeah? And what's that?" he asked condescendingly, his show face perfectly intact…until she spoke her next words.

"I never stopped loving you," she said. And without even so much as looking at him, she closed her books, got up, and walked away leaving him in the dust. For a moment, he could have sworn he was going to burst out crying in public, no matter who was watching. Everything was always complicated with Rachel. The two of them together were so perfect, so meant to be, but everything just got in the way of them. And now, when the two of them were hurting the most, she thought he didn't love her anymore, and he didn't think she'd ever forgive him for this. He turned to call her back, but she was already gone, taking his heart with her.

Monday approached quickly, and Rachel had yet to walk into practice. The bell had rung half a minute earlier, and Rachel was never late, even if she had been in a funk lately. Mr. Schuester was nervous, hoping she would show up, and the group sat waiting patiently. They too had noticed signs, like how she never talked to any of them anymore, even Finn, and she never hung out with them, even though she hadn't done that much before. They only saw her in Glee and the few classes some shared with her; otherwise, it was like Rachel Berry was a ghost. Mr. Schuester was relieved when Rachel walked in a few minutes later, but everyone was surprised to see a grin on the young girl's face.

"Sorry I'm late guys," she said in her usual, talkative Rachel-Berry-voice. "I had to finish a few things for the songs I'll be performing today." Everyone stared before sharing looks with each other, all of them wondering if she was bipolar. She sighed before her tone took a slightly softer tone.

"Look, I know I've been really depressed lately about the whole Vocal Adrenaline thing, and as your teammate I let you down by not giving Glee Club all of my effort with Regional's so close." They were slightly impressed at this new Rachel Berry attitude. The old Rachel Berry would have never apologized like this to them, she would have never confided in them about what was going on. "Mr. Schuester gave me an assignment for today to find any songs I could that expressed my feelings perfectly, and I believe I've found three songs to use for Regional's."

Mr. Schuester stared in shock before smiling; leave it up to Rachel to save the day, because there was no doubt Jesse spilled their set list to Shelby. She took some sheets of music out of her bag and gave one to Bryan, the pianist.

"I found this band last night," she started, "and I think it's the perfect song to express how I'm feeling right now." She looked at Mr. Schue, who gave a slight nod, and she nodded back ready to begin. "The song is called _Shipwreck_ by Starfield." No one had heard of the band, and she wasn't surprised because she had only chanced upon it in one of her Pandora mixes. The piano began, and for the first time in weeks, Rachel's voice came out strong, clear, and full of emotion.

_I built a fortress  
With a hundred thousand faces  
I'll keep it safe  
With a hundred thousand more  
But these masks are wearing thin  
As You draw me in  
_

_I spent my time  
On the empty and the fleeting  
I spent my life  
On much less than what I'd dreamed  
But I'm reaching out to you  
To make me new  
_

_'Cause I am just a beggar here at your door  
I am just a shipwreck here on your shore  
I come empty handed  
Ready to see  
Your life in me changing who I've been  
To who I need to be  
To who I need to be  
_

_You tell me my story  
As you sift between the pages  
I feel redemption  
In the space between each turn  
_

_Could You take me in Your arms  
And tell it just once more  
Could You take me in Your arms  
And tell it just once more_

_'Cause I am just a beggar here at your door  
I am just a shipwreck here on your shore  
I come empty handed  
Ready to see  
Your life in me changing who I've been  
To who I need to be  
To who I need to be_

_'Cause I am just a beggar here at your door  
I am just a shipwreck here on your shore  
I come empty handed  
Ready to see  
Your life in me changing who I've been  
To who I need to be  
_

By the end of the song, a few tears had fall down Rachel's face. Everyone else was in the same state; all felt deeply touched by the song and felt the pain of their friend. Even Quinn got up to go give Rachel a hug, something that seemed slightly impossible. There was silence in the room, but no applause was needed—everyone knew that Rachel had just possibly performed one of her best songs yet.

"Rachel," Mr. Schue said, "not only have you fulfilled this assignment perfectly, but I think we've found our ballad for Regional's." He smiled at her and she blushed in embarrassment at the attention from everyone. The new Rachel was shyer than the old one, they noted.

"The song is really one key lower than how I performed it, but because I'm able to hit high notes, I figured it sounded better." Everyone agreed and Mr. Schue clapped his hands together.

"Alright guys, for now this is the ballad Rachel will perform at Regional's. We've got one week left until Regional's, one week to pull together two other songs that we've never performed yet. Vocal Adrenaline knows everything we've performed so far, so we're at a bit of a disadvantage here."

"Mr. Schue, I have some ideas I'd like to run by the club," Rachel said excitedly. Kurt rolled his eyes but smiled, liking this new Rachel a little bit better. She was asking permission, asking them what they thought of her ideas; she wasn't just making the final decision herself. They all gathered around to practice.

Regional's was starting in only a half hour, and everyone was getting into costume. Kurt had whipped up something quick and fast, even though his outfits were always amazing, and Rachel had to admit she liked this one. They were all wearing black and bronze, the girls wearing varied dressed and the guys wearing black suits with bronze ties. Vocal Adrenaline, as they were already changed, had opted for bright pink and black—something that would definitely get them noticed. Rachel kept her head high and practiced her songs silently to herself.

"Alright guys, Vocal Adrenaline is performing second and we're going last. I'm going to go check on a few things, so just hang tight." He gave us all a smile before turning and walking away. Rachel quickly turned to her teammates, her face determined.

"I have an idea guys, but it's risky and will most likely cost us Regional's." Everyone's interest was piqued, no one believing Rachel Berry would throw away a competition.

"What did you have in mind?" Mercedes asked.

Vocal Adrenaline was outstanding of course, and the applause boomed throughout the entire music hall. They went with _Highway to Hell_, _Another One Bites the Dust_, and their Lady Gaga number. Of course for Lady Gaga they used their other costumes, but all in all, it was everything expected for the three-year running National Champions.

"Next performance will be McKinley High's New Directions," Sue Sylvester called into the microphone, her voice smug. She volunteered to be one of the judges to screw William Schuester over and make sure he never crawled out of the ground again. Rachel slowly exhaled, her body filled with adrenaline. She was about to perform her ballad. She pulled the stage curtains apart and walked towards the piano. Sitting down, she made herself comfy before projecting her voice across the entire silent room.

"Tonight," she began, "is going to be a night you will most likely never forget." Vocal Adrenaline had front row seats, all of them smirking at the pathetic beginning to her speech—none of them believed New Directions could give a memorable performance. Jesse was staring at her, his face blank, but his eyes focused solely on her. Shelby looked at her carefully, like she was analyzing her every move. Rachel gave a small smile to herself; _no one_ would be expecting this.

"You've already seen two groups perform," she said loudly, her fingers beginning to play an extended version of the intro to _Whispering_ from Spring Awakening. "One of them is Vocal Adrenaline, the National Champions for three years running." She could see Shelby tense when hearing her own group's name brought into this. The audience looked on confused. "But if there's one thing I've learned in this past week, it's that performing and music isn't about perfection. It's about passion, heart, and soul. It's about how you yourself become one with the music, how you learn things about yourself from music." She gave a smile to Mr. Schue who looked stricken, not believing she was about to do this.

"New Directions will be performing three songs from Spring Awakening tonight," she said confidently, "to show you how our music isn't something that's just practiced to please the judges. We're here to show you pieces of our hearts." She began to sing softly, her voice reverberating throughout the silent room.

_Whispering  
Here the ghosts in the moonlight  
Sorrow doing a new dance  
Through their bone, through their skin_

_Listening  
To the souls in the fool's night  
Fumbling mutely with their rude hands  
And there's heartache without end  
_

_See the father bent in grief  
The mother dressed in mourning  
Sister crumbles, and the neighbors grumble  
The preacher issues warnings  
_

_History  
Little miss didn't do right  
Went and ruined all the true plans  
Such a shame. Such a sin.  
_

_Mystery  
Home alone on a school night  
Harvest moon over the blue land  
Summer longing on the wind  
_

_Had a sweetheart on his knees  
So faithful and adoring  
And he touched me. And I let him love me.  
So let that be my story  
_

_Listening  
For the hope, for the new life  
Something beautiful, a new chance  
Hear its whispering  
There again_

Many people in the audience knew the musical, and many also knew how extremely inappropriate it was, whether it was the cursing, suicide, abortion, sex, homosexuality, teenage pregnancy, and more. But despite the frenzy the judges were in, the crowd burst out into applause, nobody being able to deny the depth and feeling Rachel gave as she sang the song. She wasn't dancing while performing the number, she wasn't doing anything other than singing and playing the piano; but for some reason, nobody could find a single thing wrong with her performance. She grinned as she stood from the piano bench, her eyes landing on Mr. Schue. He looked slightly frazzled, but proud nonetheless that they were standing up for themselves against VA. She noticed Shelby's face, the shock very visible. Shelby couldn't believe somebody was actually performing these songs at a competition—it was like suicide, the judges would never allow something as explicit as this. Jesse's reaction was similar, but his heart was also heavy. He knew she was singing the song about him, that much was obvious. She looked…good. Happy. Strong. Things he had taken away from her but now gained back. He feared this meant she was completely over him, that he didn't matter anymore. He watched the rest of the Glee kids take the stage, all lining up according to their routine, Puck front and center.

"This song," Puck said, "is probably what's going to screw up our chance of winning tonight." Again, Jesse did a double take at the fact that they were _advertising_ their wrongdoing. It was like they _wanted_ to lose! "It's called Totally Fucked." Jesse was pretty sure he could here multiple gasps throughout the room as well as the sound of one of the judges accidentally breaking their pencil in half at the name of the song. _They wouldn't really perform it…_

_**Puck:  
**__Here's a moment you know…you're fucked –  
Not an inch more room to self-destruct  
No more moves  
Oh yeah, the dead-end zone  
Man, you just can't call your soul your own  
_

_**Artie (Spoken):  
**__But the thing that makes you really jump  
Is that the weirdest shit is still to come  
You can ask yourself: "Hey, what have I done?"  
You're just a fly – the little guys, they kill for fun  
_

_**Puck:**__  
Man, you're fucked if you just freeze up  
Can't do that thing – that keeping still  
_

_**Finn:**__  
But, you're fucked if you speak your mind  
_

_**Puck, Artie, and Finn:**__  
And you know – uh huh – you will  
_

_**All:**__  
Yeah, you're fucked all right – and all for spite  
You can kiss your sorry ass goodbye  
Totally fucked – will they mess you up?  
Well you know they're gonna try  
_

_**Artie (Spoken):**__  
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah  
_

_**All (Spoken):  
**__Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah  
_

_**Finn:  
**__Disappear – yeah, well, you wanna try  
Wanna bundle up into some big ass lie  
Long enough for them to all just quit  
Long enough for you to get out of it  
_

_**All:**__  
Yeah, you're fucked all right – and all for spite  
You can kiss your sorry ass goodbye  
Totally fucked – will they mess you up?  
Well you know they're gonna try_

_Yeah, you're fucked all right – and all for spite  
You can kiss your sorry ass goodbye  
Totally fucked – will they mess you up?  
Well you know they're gonna try_

_Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah  
Blah blah blah blah blah  
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah  
Blah blah blah blah blah  
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah  
Blah blah blah blah blah  
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah  
Blah blah blah blah blah_

_Totally fucked!_

There was dead silence for a few beats before the thunderous applause began. The choreography for this number had been absolutely outstanding, and although there were more curses than many were comfortable with, the raw passion and smiles on the faces of these kids were hard to ignore. The clapping and whistling died down, Rachel stepping forth again.

"Our last song for tonight is the opening song to Spring Awakening," she said quietly. Quinn walked along the stage until she stood next to Rachel, and the rest of the Glee club took their seats on stage.

_Mama who bore me  
Mama who gave me  
Mama the angels  
Who made me so sad  
_

_Mama who bore me  
Mama who gave me  
No way to handle things  
Who made me so sad  
_

_Mama, the weeping  
Mama, the angels  
No sleep in Heaven, or Bethlehem  
_

_Some pray that one day  
Christ will come a'-callin'  
They light a candle  
And hope that it glows  
And some just lie there  
Crying for him to come and find them  
But when he comes they don't know how to go  
_

_Mama who bore me  
Mama who gave me  
Mama the angels  
Who made me so bad  
_

_Mama, the weeping  
Mama, the angels  
No sleep in Heaven, or Bethlehem_

It was surprising to hear Rachel's voice paired up with Quinn's, but for some reason it just worked. The two were nearly in tears by the end of the song, both being able to relate to the song. The cheering in the music hall was deafening, and chants of "Encore, encore, encore," rang across the room. The entire Glee club took a bow and grinned at each other, proud that they stood up for what they believed in. Well, that and the look on Shelby Corcoran's face was totally worth it. Tina whispered something into Artie's ear who passed it on, and Rachel ran to tell the band what song to play. Don't Stop Believing started up, and she looked down at Jesse's seat only to find it empty. Confused, but curious, she looked around as they began to sing.

_Just a small town girl  
__Living in a lonely world  
She took the midnight train going anywhere_

_Just a city boy, born and raised in South Detroit  
He took the midnight train going anywhere_

_A singer in a smoky room__  
The smell of wine and cheap perfume  
__For a smile they can share the night  
It goes on and on and on and on_

_Strangers waiting__  
Up and down the boulevard__  
Their shadows searching in the nights__  
Streetlights, people__  
Living just to find emotion  
Hiding somewhere in the nights_

_Working hard to get my fill,__  
Everybody wants a thrill__  
Paying anything to roll the dice__  
Just one more time  
_

_Some will win, some will lose  
__Some are born to sing the blues__  
And now the movie never ends  
It goes on and on and on and on_

_Don't stop believing__  
Hold on to that feeling__  
Streetlight, people  
Don't stop!_

It was no surprise that New Directions got more applause from the crowd than the other performing groups, including Vocal Adrenaline. When it came time for the results, all the teams lined up on the stage. She was vaguely aware of Sue sprouting some crap again, but her eyes were focused on Jesse. He was staring at her, his eyes worried, and despite everything they had been through these past few weeks, and despite the fact that they were in the middle of a huge fight with each other right now, she understood what he was thinking with one look: everything was out of control.

Performing in front of a crowd is all about control. Not only do you have to be able to control the feeling of the audience, and not only do you have to be able to control the situation in case anything goes south, but you also have to be able to control your own voice, dance moves, and presentation. Jesse St. James was a master at these things, and he could control a crowd like he could belt out a song on the fly.

But now, looking at the situation at hand, it seemed like everything had just…gone wrong. He couldn't control anything anymore. His future, his life, and the girl he loves were being controlled by Shelby. He didn't have the heart to tell her that her own mother wanted to destroy her. Then the whole Run, Joey Run episode happened, and he began to see the ties she still held with them. It made him angry; jealous. And he hurt her back, and before they knew it, it was this never-ending cycle of hurt and torture. She wasn't going to lie to herself—she agreed with everything he was thinking. She gave him a small, fleeting smile that he barely caught. The guilt multiplied inside of him, unable to believe that she could still be polite with him even after all he did. Rachel Berry truly was a saint if he ever saw one.

New Directions came in second place due to their disregard of the rules and Vocal Adrenaline placed first, but it was obvious which of the two teams were superior. Vocal Adrenaline was in a funk over their not-so-victorious victory, and New Directions was proud that they finally understood the true meaning of music. Mr. Schuester was proud of them all, and commended Rachel on her brilliant idea. They were celebrating backstage when the whole flock of Vocal Adrenaline, along with Shelby and Jesse, stopped in front of them. The laughter of New Directions died down, many looks of hatred and disgust being thrown back and forth. Rachel held her breath as Shelby stared at her, the devious smile still present on her face.

"So it looks like you've won this round, Rachel," she said. "Don't let it get to your head though; we'll be back full force next year." The group of teenagers behind her looked determined, but still not quite believing they had been beaten by an amateur Glee Club. Rachel took a deep breath, ready to deliver her big news.

"Actually, I won't be seeing you next year." Shelby looked shocked, as did all the other members of Vocal Adrenaline.

"What do you mean?" one of the Vocal Adrenaline guys called out. They might be enemies, but this past competition had formed a form of respect between the two teams. She looked back at her confused teammates, and a VERY confused Mr. Schue.

"Are you quitting Glee, Rachel?" he asked. She shook her head smiling a bit before grinning.

"This morning I received a letter." She paused for dramatic effect, each person hanging onto her every word. "I've been accepted to the school of Julliard in New York City as the lead violinist in their orchestra. I don't have to finish high school because of my straight A's in every class, so this is my last year here."

"_WHAT?_" everyone chorused together. She knew that nobody was aware of the fact that she played the violin, nor did they know that while she loved to sing, she loved making music for others to sing to. She expected someone from her Glee Club to speak up first, but was surprised when Jesse spoke up instead.

"Rachel, you got in? That's amazing! I told you you'd get it!" He was grinning as widely as she was, and she could tell his excitement was equal to hers. She had told Jesse she was auditioning and applying, and he had encouraged her through the entire process. Both teams waited, holding their breath and waiting for something to happen. New Directions witnessed the pain Jesse had put her through, and Vocal Adrenaline had fueled him to give her that pain—either way, they were sure the situation was about to blow up. But Rachel knew Jesse, and she knew he wouldn't have done something out of pure heartlessness; his heart was one of the biggest she'd seen, you just had to break down his walls first. She knew the look on stage had also been one of pleading, begging her to forgive him. Her brain was shouting "No", trying to save her from the hurt of letting him back into her life, but her heart was screaming "Yes", because everyone makes mistakes—as she once did—and she wouldn't be Rachel Berry if she didn't forgive him. Besides, after getting out of her own funk, she'd realized how much she overreacted to the whole thing. If she thought he was mad at her or just hated her, she should have asked him for an explanation like he always did for her.

The two teams watched in fascination and incredulity as she walked forward to him, stopping inches away from his body. He was still grinning down at her, and her heart tugged in happiness.

"We obviously still have to talk," she whispered, "but I'm not giving up on us. I don't care what anyone says, this is meant to be." He nodded before swooping down and bringing her into a hug, her arms automatically wrapping around him. He lifted her off the ground and spun her around, pressing his lips into her hair and closing his eyes in bliss.

"I'm so sorry things played out like they did; it shouldn't have gotten to that point, we should have talked about our problems instead of pretending like everything was okay, and we definitely need to work on our honesty and trust with each other," he murmured into her brown locks. She laughed before kissing his cheek, and he set her down. He held a hand out for her to take, and her palm slid into his easily and comfortably. They left the backstage area and walked through the atrium of the music hall towards the doors leading outside and leaving behind to very confused, shocked teams along with a furious Shelby.

"I'm so proud of you," he said, the smile still on his face from before. "This is an amazing opportunity for you!" She nodded happily before frowning a bit.

"But what are we going to do with me all the way in New York and you in Ohio or Los Angeles?" she asked desperately, panic slightly taking over her senses. He placed a calming kiss on her forehead before leading her outside and into the shade of the trees.

"Ohio and Los Angeles aren't my only options you know," he said smirking. "I received my acceptance letter to NYU a few weeks ago; so technically, both of us could be going to college in New York next year." She shrieked in glee and jumped into his arms. She felt like everything was falling into place finally, like things were going to turn out exactly how they should be for her. She couldn't think of any words to express her excitement, so instead she pressed her lips against his for the first time in weeks.

"We can move in together," he mumbled against her lips and she nodded while attacking his lips. She pulled away breathlessly, her head resting against his chest and his arms wrapped around her.

"We're going to figure this one out, Rachel Berry. We're not giving up on us." It was a statement, not a request. He left no room for arguments, not that she had any, and it sent a thrill of happiness through her that he was going to devote just as much of himself in this relationship.

"Who knows, maybe we can even find a cure along the way for your inane Drama Queen Syndrome," she said while grinning. He laughed loudly before picking her up over his shoulder making her squeal.

"You're going to regret that one, Berry," he said.

"Is that a threat, St. James?" she asked playfully. And then she knew everything would be okay.

* * *

**A/N:** This is one of my longest one-shots for St. Berry, hitting almost 7,000 words, so I hope you guys liked it. :) I should be posting the next five one-shots within the next two weeks, the next one-shot being the one requested by wickedglee (which was supposed to be chapter 7, but then I watched Funk and got pissed at how they made Jesse seem, and thus you have this) :) This one-shot was also pretty crappy writing, soAnyways, favorite quote, scene, something you hate, something you think I should fix, feel the need to just tell me you love me? ;) Thennnn….

**Review for the JGS Foundation**

**(Jonathan Groff Syndrome)!**

**Or if you just love Jesse.**

**Or Jonathan Groff.**

**Or me.**

**Or anything else you love (perhaps Edward Cullen?)**

**REVIEW!**

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	8. Behind the Stacks

**A/N**: Sorry about being gone for so long, unfortunately the rents decided they wanted to keep me super busy this summer even though I specifically told them I didn't want to be busy; I wanted a break. I have a billion ideas but I need the time to write them down, so please be patient. :( Also, I want to say thanks soooo much for all of your reviews! They totally make my craptastic days much, much better and I love getting feedback from readers. Also, thanks a ton to **St. Berry 4**, because she inspired a lot of Rachel's character in this one-shot. :) I feel like I'm always complaining to her about how unfair both Rachel and Jesse are treated in the series, and no matter how many points I make that she agrees with, kudos to her for putting up with me. If you haven't read her St. Berry stories yet (which I assume you should have considering how freaking brilliant they are, ESPECIALLY her story) you should go read them. Pronto. Before or after this. Either way. Or both at the same time which I usually do. :D Sorry for the crappy writing in this one, I was rushing to get this out so I didn't really edit. Hopefully I'll have another one up tomorrow or sometime this weekend.

Also, I'm proud to announce that within the next two weeks to a month I should have the first chapter of my St. Berry story out. :) It's called Deception at its Best, and I'll be posting the summary on my profile soon.

**Disclaimer**: Glee is owned by FOX.

**Summary**: "Rachel Berry, has anyone ever told you that sometimes you need to put your own happiness before others?" Rachel learns to love herself through her love for Jesse.

**Category: **Glee

**Genre/s:** Romance/Drama

**Story Type:** AU/AT

**Character Type:** Jesse/Major OOC, Rachel/Major OOC

**Rating**: T (PG-13)

**Pairing**: St. Berry

* * *

_**Inspiration Behind One-Shot: Not Afraid by Eminem**_

Behind the Stacks

"_Every human has four endowments—self awareness,_

_conscience, independent will, and creative imagination._

_These give us the ultimate human freedom…the power to_

_choose, to respond, to change."_

_-Stephen R. Covey_

_

* * *

_

The first time I saw him only one word popped into my head: jackass. I knew exactly who he was, what he lived for, and how he achieved his goals. He was Jesse St. James, male lead of Vocal Adrenaline, national champion for three years running, and a douche who walked all over everyone to get what he wants. After watching his performance at National's when he was a freshman, I knew it was him I had to surpass in order to get where I wanted to be.

He was my drive to succeed, the reason I practiced my vocals every night for hours. I watched him rise to the top from afar; hating the smirk he always had on his face. I hated how all the girls he performed with came onto him, but he turned them all down as if they weren't good enough for The Great Jesse St. James.

When I became a sophomore, Mr. Schuester, the Spanish teacher, decided to start a Glee Club. I was thrilled with the idea and realized I would finally be able to compete against Jesse. I would finally get to complete the only goal I had been aiming for since the age of thirteen.

My hopes were crushed as soon as I saw who else the club consisted of. There were only five other members, and none of them were actually serious about this club. Kurt and Mercedes were too full of themselves, their egos probably bigger than New York City itself. Tina and Artie were mellower than the former two, but they had too _little_ confidence to actually get anywhere. Seeing Finn, the guy I had a crush on for the past several years, at club meetings made me hopeful; this might be my chance to make him realize what he was missing out on. Quinn was going nowhere with her life as a cheerleader, but one day I would be on Broadway. I would be going places; I would be there for him. I tried to get him to notice me as a person, but I had quickly given up on him in the musical and theatre department. He lacked confidence, consistency, and the proper training to be the lead male vocalist.

I had ultimately given up on beating Jesse. He was already in his senior year, and New Directions had no chance in winning Sectional's let alone National's. We somehow managed to gain more members, although I was pretty sure Quinn, Santana, and Brittany were just spies for Coach Sylvester and her never-ending rivalry with Mr. Schuester. Puck, Mike, and Matt were also probably only there to back up Finn after he chose choir over football. We were better than in the beginning—or rather we now had enough members to even compete—but there was no way we could beat Vocal Adrenaline.

We managed to win Sectional's on a fluke even after all the baby drama with Finn. I was seriously starting to wonder what I even saw in him. Mr. Schuester seemed to agree with me that the club just wasn't cutting it in the effort category. After seeing the club's reaction to his dissertation on their performances, I figured he shouldn't hold his breath while waiting for them to change their ways.

Winter quickly passed, and Spring suddenly made everything seem brighter in its wake. Trees were budding, flowers were blooming, and the streets were no longer covered in grey slush and dirt. Everyone seemed more cheerful now that the weather was starting to get warmer and the school year was coming to a close, but I was dreading it all. Time was passing too quickly, and my hopes of defeating the almighty Jesse St. James were slowly being crushed. He was where I set the bar, and I wasn't even close to surpassing him.

Seeing him at the music store with his friends was a complete surprise. The Rachel Berry from freshman year would have confronted him head on and told him straight out, "Hi, my name is Rachel Berry and I'm going to kick your ass at National's some day." The Rachel Berry who realized what little chance she had at beating him hid in the stacks of CDs, watching his every movement. He seemed to sense my gaze on him because he turned around a couple of times and searched the store, searching for the pair of eyes watching him. I held my breath when his eyes passed over the shelves I was hiding behind and released it when he turned back to his laughing friends.

I saw them head for the door and closed my eyes waiting for the sound of the bell to signal they had opened the door and left. The chime made my shoulders relax, my posture not as tense as it had been. I was sure he would see me staring, something I _definitely_ did not want.

"Is there a reason you've been staring at me since you walked in?"

I jumped at the voice in my right ear, my head hitting the shelf above me and causing many heads to turn. He had been silent in his approach, and his face wore a slight smirk as the blush spread across my cheeks. I refused to rub the aching bump on my head, but I still winced in pain. He seemed to notice and stepped even closer to me, his hands gently holding the sides of my head. I was silently hyperventilating while he inspected my head for damage. I couldn't believe I was less than three inches away from Jesse St. James. After a few moments, he stepped back a couple of feet.

"No permanent damage, you should be good," he said while grinning. I opened my mouth to reply, but no sound came out. I was frozen on the spot, and suddenly all the preparations I had made for the moment I came face to face with Jesse were non-existent. Up close he was even better looking, his unruly curly brown hair and his boyish smile completely overwhelming. His eyes were sparkling in amusement, and his voice was just as beautiful as his singing was. Jesse St. James shined, and wherever he walked, the spotlight followed.

"You know, rumors have it you're a very talkative person; I'm guessing they should have better resources because clearly the rumors are wrong." He was still smirking, and his words struck a nerve.

"You shouldn't believe everything you hear, St. James," I retorted.

"I'm honored that you already know who I am, although I'm sure Rachel Berry always scopes out the competition." My eyes widened. He knew who I was? _Jesse St. James_ knew who I was? That went against almost every rule of society, let alone my plan to completely surprise him by coming out of nowhere and sweeping the National's trophy right out from under him.

"How do you know who I am?" I asked hesitantly. He laughed, his laugh sounding like music to my ears.

"You'd be surprised how many people know who you are," he said, his eyes trained only on me. "Your glee club made quite an impression at Sectional's, especially since the whole cheating scandal only came out after the competition was already over." I felt like I couldn't breathe while staring into his eyes so I turned and started to browse the shelves nonchalantly.

"So what brings you here?" I asked casually, the curiosity burning.

"You mean here at this music store, or here talking to you?" he asked amused, like he saw right through my façade.

"Both?" I asked hopefully. He smiled at me for real this time, no smirk in place, before he began walking slowly with me through the stacks.

"Well, I've been coming to this store since I was little," he said. "I used to live in this district, but when my parents started to travel a lot for their jobs, I had to move in with my uncle who lives in the Carmel district." I processed the somewhat personal information he had just given me, happy that he not only trusted me with that information, but that he also was turning out to be a decent guy, and not the guy I had labeled him as the first time I saw him.

"And you being here talking to me…?" I pressed, my voice trailing off.

"Two reasons. First, I was wondering why you were watching me while hiding behind shelves of music—which was a pretty bad hiding spot by the way," he said laughing while I scowled. "And second, I wanted to meet you."

"Why?" I asked, my voice laced with genuine curiosity. He stopped walking at the same time I did and he leaned in slightly, his face centimeters from mine. I could feel his breath mix with mine, and I was only vaguely aware that we had stopped in front of the exit. He took a strand of my hair in between his index and middle finger, twirling it softly.

"You're different from everyone. I like that about you." He kissed the lock of hair and slipped something into my open palm, gracefully striding out the door into the bright sunlight. I watched him walk away, once again frozen on the spot. It took me a few moments to collect myself before I opened the note.

_Same time tomorrow._

_-J_

I grinned.

School seemed to drag the next day, every minute feeling like an hour. I was ridiculously frustrated for a number of reasons: one, I hadn't seen Jesse in over fourteen hours which is a lot longer than it seems, and two, I was _upset_ about not seeing him in over fourteen hours. This addiction I had with Jesse, the overly-zealous feelings, was extremely unhealthy. I had never been like this over a male—not even Finn or Mr. Schue—and the fact that I seemed to have more-than-platonic feelings for my competition made it seem like I was just begging to have my heart broken.

Glee club was excruciating in every sense of the word. My mind, which was usually very focused on the task at hand, was wandering back to Jesse and whether or not I should meet him or not. I kept biting my lip in apprehension, a habit I tried to hide from most people, when I heard someone calling my name. It was Mr. Schue. He was giving me a concerned look and I realized every pair of eyes in the room was trained on me. It was obvious he had tried getting my attention a couple of times, but my superb acting skills allowed me to brush the incident off nonchalantly before putting at least an ounce of effort into the meeting. Finn kept shooting me glances which only made my mood even worse. He always seemed to be a douche when I wanted him around, but the moment I start to get over him or put more focus on something else, he takes it personally and makes me feel guilty. I ignored his glances that were burning holes in the sides of my head and instead focused on the clock.

When the bell finally rang, I was up and out the door before Kurt even had the chance to straighten his sweater vest—which, trust me, is definitely saying something. I didn't even notice them all staring after me, nor did I see the hurt and confused look on Finn's face.

I had been home for an hour already leaving only half an hour until six, the same time I had seen him at the music store yesterday. I was clutching my hair in fists, my skull aching from the harsh tugging. I was torn, my brain telling me to stay where I was for the next three hours (and yes, if that meant I had to handcuff myself to the bedpost, I would), but my heart and curiosity were questioning my sanity with one clear message in my mind: _why was I still sitting there?_

When I had only heard snippets about the whole Quinn-lying-to-Finn fiasco, I immediately asked my therapist for advice. His reply was, "Curiosity killed the cat." When I asked him how on earth that applied to the situation, he said sometimes you shouldn't give into your curiosity if it means hurting someone else. I managed to twist his words to justify my actions by letting Finn find out, but this situation was different. It took me three seconds before I began muttering under my breath and grabbing my jacket before heading out the door.

"Newsflash Dr. Han, I'm allergic to cats."

It took me ten minutes, three near-accidents, and a crying kid left behind in the dust with his ice cream in the dirt before I made it to the store. I was thirty five seconds late and panicking that he had thought I wasn't coming and left. I ran into the shop, immediately looking left and right trying to spot the guy that was driving me insane. I searched hopefully but was devastated when I couldn't catch a glimpse of that gorgeous bronze hair I was aching to run my hands through. I had nearly given up when I felt someone behind me.

"Boo!"

I turned around in excitement only to deflate when I realized it was just Finn. I tried to throw him a somewhat-realistic smile before my mind went into overdrive—if it wasn't already. Since when had I started to refer to him as _'just Finn'_?

"What are you doing here, Finn?" I managed to choke out. I was freaking out, not knowing what Finn would do if Jesse popped up right now.

"I went to three different music stores before this one to try and find you," he said proudly, a grin on his face. "I noticed you weren't yourself during glee practice so I figured I'd try to cheer you up. Do you want to go bowling or something?" I shifted from side to side, wondering how I was going to try and let Finn down gently for the first time in my life.

"Um, actually—" I was cut off by another voice.

"There you are!" To my horror Jesse walked in, a smirk on his lips, his eyes playful. Finn was looking between him and me in confusion, having no idea who he was or why he seemed to be referring to me in such casual terms. He didn't know Jesse St. James like I did (I don't think anyone did) so I assumed only I knew Jesse was about to do something.

"Who are you?" Finn asked accusingly. It only took Jesse a few steps to reach me and he immediately put his arm around my waist, pulling my body flush against his. I blushed in embarrassment as my body tingled in response to the feeling of his skin touching me. I could smell his hair gel and the faint smell of a very Jesse-like cologne. I subtly tried to push him away because Finn was right there, but he caught my hand and laced his fingers through mine, giving them a gentle squeeze. Despite that I had only met him yesterday, I understood the message immediately: play along.

"I believe I should be asking you that question," Jesse replied smartly without missing a beat. "Who are you and why are you harassing my girlfriend?" Internally, I was screaming. On the outside, I just stared like a gaping fish. Finn froze before looking down at me.

"What's this guy talking about, Rach?" he asked. He looked upset. I sighed.

"Finn, this is Jesse St. James. Jesse, this is Finn Hudson." Jesse held out his hand, his eyes still gleaming mischievously. Finn glared, immediately understanding the contest and gripped his hand before shaking it. I could see the tendons and muscles in Finn's arm flexing as he tried to crush Jesse's hand. His face was a mask of concentration and determination, a total give away of what he was trying to do. Jesse on the other hand had a perfect poker face on, his face holding a pleasant smile (or not so pleasant depending on how you looked at the situation), although I was positive he was gripping Finn's hand just as hard—if not harder.

"Pleased to meet you," Jesse said. Finn only grumbled in response as he let his hand drop, but not before I noticed him trying to surreptitiously rub his throbbing hand. Apparently, Jesse noticed too because his grin grew even wider.

"Was there something you needed?" he asked. Translation: "Is there a reason you're still here?"

"I was going to ask Rachel here to bowling or a movie tonight." He directed his attention back to me. "So, Rach? What do you say?" I was tempted to try and end this as civilly as possible, but Jesse was giving me the perfect opportunity to end this whole off-and-on thing with Finn for good. I wouldn't be feeling guilty every time I looked at someone of the male species just because he felt like I was cheating on him when we weren't even together in the first place. I decided to be brave for once and go with the flow.

"Finn, Jesse just told you. He's my boyfriend. That makes me off limits." Finn stared dumbly for a moment before scrunching his eyebrows together in confusion.

"What?" he asked. I sighed; he really wasn't the sharpest crayon in the box.

"No, Finn. I'm with Jesse. Please go." Finn kept on looking at me before his anger setting in.

"Fine," he snapped. "I was only doing it because I felt bed you were in such a bad mood today." He stalked out the door clumsily, the exact opposite of Jesse's theatrical exit the day before, and I sighed when the door slammed shut.

The teasing expression slipped off of Jesse's face. He looked at me in concern, his eyes searching for something in my facial expression.

"You okay?" he asked. I nodded, looking down at his hands that were still around my waist and clutching my hand. He followed my gaze before coming back to reality.

"Oh, sorry!" he quickly began to let go but I just squeezed his hand in reassurance, silently telling him it was okay. He gave me a look that said, "If you're sure," before he tightened his hold again. His thumb began to brush over my hand in a soothing manner, and I relished in the feeling while ignoring the messages my brain was trying to send me, most of them being along the lines of, "This is going too fast!" or "He's the competition!" or my personal favorite, "He uses too much hair gel!"

"Sorry about the whole pretending to be your boyfriend thing," he began awkwardly, "I didn't know who he was, but the look on your face brought out the Knight-in-Shining-Armor part of me." I grinned at him as we both started walking simultaneously to browse through the endless amount of CDs.

"You just wanted to be able to say I was your girlfriend for those few minutes," I said cheekily. I rolled his eyes with a grin on his face as he picked up a CD in slight interest. My eyes roamed the shelves only to find that I owned almost every CD in that particular section.

"I've never heard of this group before," he said surprised. I leaned in a bit closer to him—and no, I will not disclose whether it was for the CD or to just be closer to him in general—and saw the name of the group: Billy Talent. I happened to buy every single CD they produced after I first heard them.

"They're definitely good," I said. "They're not completely original, and they could use some work in parts of their songs, but they're lyrics are absolutely brilliant. Most of their songs are actually pretty powerful if you can relate to them, plus their songs make awesome covers on the piano." He seemed surprised that I had insight on a rock band, or at least one he didn't know.

"I took you for more of a show tunes, pop kind of girl," he said, his mouth quirking up to one side in sort of a half smile.

"I like all kinds of music," I replied breezily. "You can borrow the CD from me if you want," I said with fake disinterest although I was pleading with an imaginary Jesse St. James in my head to take me up on the offer; I just wanted some sort of connection to him, something to tell me this was all real, because he was just…completely and utterly perfect for me.

The two of us continued to browse in silence with occasional comments and banter over the progression of music throughout the years. Even though there was mostly no talking and I was holding his hand instead of starting a serious make-out session with him, I was perfectly comfortable and happy, something I hadn't felt in a long time. He noticed my facial expression and asked me what was on my mind. I was quiet for a moment before I stopped walking, pulling him to a stop too. I gently picked up our intertwined hands, turning them this way and that way in the light, examining the way our hands fit perfectly with each other. I leaned in a bit closer to him, his arm wrapping around me to pull me even closer so that our chests almost touched.

"You do know that if we do take this—whatever _this_ is—any further, our worlds will become utter chaos and hell once the teams find out," I said, my eyebrows crinkling together in slight frustration.

"I know," he said simply, but if I didn't know any better, I would think it made no difference in his mind.

"That is," I continued, "if Finn hasn't already alerted the rest of New Directions, which I'm sure he has, so obviously Vocal Adrenaline will soon get wind of this."

"Let them." I glared at him.

"Jesse, we can't just ignore this problem," I said exasperated. "I don't have much of a reputation in the first place, but this will just make—"

I couldn't get the rest of the words out because suddenly I could feel Jesse's soft lips press a gentle kiss to my own. My eyes fluttered closed, my mind turning into instant Jesse-St.-James-Overload goop. When he slowly pulled away, I realized that all I wanted to do was pull him back down for another kiss. He grinned at me, his eyes light and sparkling. He seemed completely at peace, yet at the same time he looked like he was at a standstill through a series of upheaval and mayhem.

"Rachel Berry, has anyone ever told you that sometimes you need to put your own happiness before others?" I knew it was a rhetorical question, but I was practically bursting with a reply before he even got the full sentence out.

"Well, my dads always tell me I should think of others before I think of myself, and Dr. Han once told me that if I don't think the situation fully through while accounting for the feelings of others who are involved in the situation, the result will be completely catastrophic and I could very well—" He silenced me with another kiss, and it was even better than the first. Even after all my kisses with Finn, even the ones that could have led to me losing the big-V, none of them—not even combined—could hold a candle to one simple kiss from Jesse.

"What do you want, Rachel?" he asked quietly. I was vaguely aware that we were having a private discussion in public where anyone could see or overhear us, but I wasn't moving away from Jesse unless someone forcefully pried me away from him.

"I want you," I whispered, my tone sounding slightly whineier than it should have. He smiled and planted a kiss on my forehead. It was a little unsettling that the words came out of my mouth before I myself had realized it. Every ounce of those eight letters were true despite the amount of time I had known him, and I reveled in the fact that I was able to be honest with him so easily. I knew his answer before he replied.

"Then have me," he said. I sighed blissfully as I pulled myself closer to him, his arms wrapping fully around me in a loving embrace. My head rested in the crook of his neck, my body fitting perfectly against his. I could hear the unsteady thumping of his heartbeat, completely positive that it was the most wonderful music I had ever heard. It was amazing how even at my weakest or most pathetic moments, whining included, he still made me feel smart, and beautiful, and strong…a guy who I had met twenty-four hours ago. After a few moments I looked up at him.

"You know," I said thoughtfully, "if you're parents had different jobs or if your uncle lived just a little bit closer, I'd have known you for a lot longer." He sighed.

"Trust me, I know. I've thought about that for a long time."

"It kind of makes you think…we were wasting so much time," I said wistfully. "We practically stalked each other—and don't you dare deny it St. James or I'll make sure you can never make babies—but we never actually came up to one another before now." He laughed loudly before tickling my sides a bit making me giggle.

"You'd never hurt me like that. Aside from you being too _infatuated_ with me—" he gave a dramatic toss of his hair, "—and the fact that I'm simply too gorgeous to harm—" I rolled my eyes, "—you can't deny that the idea of a little Rachel or Jesse St. James running around in a tutu or going to her first voice lesson, or piano lesson, or whatever she decides to set her heart to doesn't make you smile." The moment it came out of his mouth, I was picturing exactly what he said.

I could see a little boy or girl with Jesse curly bronze hair and my eyes. I could hear the giggles and laughter as we played tag with him in the house. I could picture myself being married to this man, having a family with him after Broadway. I couldn't tell what scared me more: the fact that I could actually envision myself with him (did I mention I only met him yesterday?) with no problem, married and settled down when I could barely see past the next day without freaking out, or that I might be responsible for bringing another Jesse St. James into this world.

"You can see it Rachel," he murmured. "I know you can." I didn't deny or acknowledge him, but he still knew. The rest of the evening was slow-paced and calm, a smile dawning both our faces the entire time. I liked being able to just enjoy his company without getting too much into the details of our newfound relationship. We both knew we had feelings for one another, but we didn't feel the need to stress that.

We met at the music store the same time every day after. I couldn't remember a time in my life where everything had just seemed so…perfect. Of course Finn still gave me dirty looks every day, but he had been nice enough not to tell anybody about Jesse. Then again, with the brain Finn has I'm sure he hadn't even realized who Jesse St. James WAS, so he probably couldn't understand how telling the team would ruin everything.

I learned a lot about Jesse over the course of two months, and I also realized how little I had learned from me scoping him out as competition. He acted like a diva and sure, his drama queen tendencies rivaled my own, but he wasn't as serious about it as people thought. He always made me laugh when he did his Elvis and Daffy Duck impressions. Over time, I revealed to him about my tenacious need to surpass him, but that ever since I met him it disappeared. He said it was because it took me liking him in order to realize I was just as amazing as him in every single way. I said it was because I realized my superior collection of music.

Three months and seventeen days after I had officially met him, we were up in my room on my bed listening to the Spring Awakening soundtrack when I asked him something that had been bugging me.

"Why don't we go on dates?" He looked up in surprise from his calculus homework.

"What do you mean?" he asked cautiously.

"Well, our meetings at the music store, although they have moved to various locations like our houses for example, essentially feel like dates, but we never really specify it." I hadn't brought the topic up in anger or rejection. It was pure, simple curiosity (luckily Jesse was more of a dog person, so no need to worry about him and cats either). "I already know you're my best friend, and both of us know we have feelings towards one another. I just want to know why we're still skirting around the edges of this all."

I was proud of myself for coming forward about this, especially since I usually felt insecure and inferior when confronting others. As per usual, everything with Jesse was as easy as breathing. He sighed before running a hand through his hair and casting aside his homework. He brought himself closer to the headboard of my bed and pulled me fully against him. He peppered my face and neck with soft kisses, his lips finding the pulse on my throat and suckling it gently. I moaned softly, and he gave me one last kiss on my lips before pulling us into a spooning position.

"It's not that I don't want to be exclusive or anything like that," he said. "I just think we both need to figure things out first."

"What things?"

He sighed. "Like me going off to college. Like you figuring out some sort of deal with Finn so that he stops trying to sabotage our relationship with every chance he gets. Like us finally quitting the cowardly act and admitting to our teammates and coaches that we're in love." He whispered the last part affectionately into my hair. I smiled with my eyes closed, relaxing as his hand starting combing through my hair.

"So…basically the two of us have to grow up and get our acts together before we decide to make things official." He laughed gently, my smile growing at the sound.

"That's exactly what I'm saying. Besides, these nights feel like dates anyways and I already knew you were meant for me the moment those first chords of your rendition of _Stairway to Heaven_ were played the first time I saw you perform in 2006."

"This is true," I pondered, playing along.

"I also happen to know that your fathers adore me and would give me the permission to marry you tomorrow if I asked them right now."

"This is also very true," I mused as I attempted to keep a straight face. "But what would people think?" I asked in mock-horror. "A sixteen year old girl marrying and eighteen year old boy before either graduated?"

He sighed dramatically closing both eyes. "Oh, I suppose your right." He popped one eye open to look at me. "Besides, we both know you want a winter wedding with a red, black, and white color scheme at the age of twenty-two followed by a six-year long career on Broadway, followed by settling down in a small town and having two boys and a girl." I looked at him in awe that he remembered everything I had said (_two months ago_) in such perfect detail. He winked in understanding.

"Be awed by my brilliance," he declared loudly, one hand clutching his shirt over his heart and the other high in the air as if someone was in front of him. I started cracking up before shoving him slightly.

"Oh, shut it, St. James." He grinned at me, and I knew that, official or not, we would solve everything together and I would get my first real date with Jesse St. James. Besides, it was obvious to me the first day I met him: he made me happy, whether he knew it or not.

* * *

**A/N:** I decided to put a bit of sarcasm in here…it was getting a bit too dramatic for my taste. :P Anyways, this was a little bit different than how I originally planned for it to turn out, and again I'm sorry for the crappy writing. I really wanted to take the more mature qualities of Rachel and Jesse's characters and the parts of them that still needed to grow and let them be dependent on others (rather than themselves because of their insane need to win) and kind of twist them around. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed, so without further ado, please make my day and review. :) **Remember, ideas and suggestions for one-shots are always welcome!**

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	9. Lay All Your Trust On Me, Baby

**A/N**: Wow, it's been so long since I posted a one-shot. :( I honestly hate school. If I could choose, I'd spend every waking hour writing for St. Berry. Unfortunately, there's this little thing called 'school' people seem to think is important, so that's where I spend most of my time. :/ I just watched "Prom Queen" and I was happy and upset at the same time. (*spoiler alert!) Before the episode aired, I totally thought Rachel was singing Jar of Hearts to Jesse, so I was actually really excited when I realized she was singing it to Finn instead. Also, anyone notice Rachel smiling when she was singing Rolling in the Deep with Jesse and having to put a show face on when he came to face her again? I was shrieking like crazy in my basement as soon as he walked in! Plus they totally showed the whole BFF aspect to St. Berry (considering how I always thought Finn had the "friend" part of a relationship and Puck had the "sex" part of a relationship, and Jesse gave both but on a whole new level). But I was pissed that they made Quinn seem justified in hitting Rachel when she clearly wasn't. Plus Finn was a douche, plain and simple. I wonder what Jesse was doing to Rachel's neck though…*wiggles eyebrows*. Also, thanks SO, SO much for all the reviews, favorites, and alerts! They mean so much to me, and I don't think I can ever begin to describe how much some of them just brighten up my day! :') Anyways, on with the one-shot! Let me know what you think!

PS-I don't even know where the title for this one came from. It was more of an instinctive thing. :D

PPS-Soon (like when school ends) I'm going to be editing all the one-shots in this collection. I was rereading them a while ago and realized how many mistakes I have and how much should be changed.

PPPS-I have at least 72 ideas for St. Berry one-shots and this collection, but that's obviously a bunch. I plan to have the majority of them posted before the summer ends (so like early September), but we'll see. I'm super excited! :)

PPPPS-Does anyone actually read my A/Ns? I feel like no one does and I just ramble on and on and on. If you've actually gotten to this point, kudos to you. :3 In fact, I have a question for you: what is the one scene you've always wanted to see with St. Berry? Drop it in a review or PM!

**Disclaimer**: Glee is owned by FOX. Credits to _Way You Love Me _go to Faith Hill.

**Summary**: Rachel turns to the one person she knows she can count on. Set during '_Born This Way_'.

**Category:**Glee

**Genre/s:** Romance/Drama

**Story Type:** AU/AT

**Character Type:** Jesse/SlightOOC, Rachel/SlightOOC

**Rating**: T (PG-13)

**Pairing**: St. Berry

* * *

**_Inspiration Behind One-Shot: Flaws and All by Beyoncé_**

**Lay All Your Trust On Me, Baby**

_"I think all women go through periods where we hate this_

_about ourselves, we don't like that. It's great to get to a place_

_where you dismiss anything you're worried about._

_I find flaws attractive. I find scars attractive."_

_-Angelina Jolie_

* * *

Rachel couldn't understand why everyone was giving her such a hard time about getting a nose job. It was her body, and she could do whatever she wanted with it. It wasn't like she was going on a crazy new fad diet to lose a bunch of weight. She was just slightly altering her nose with a procedure that could possibly enhance her vocals as well. Besides, most of the kids protesting her decision were kids who had teased her about her looks (especially her nose) in the past.

She flung herself onto her bed face down with a growl of frustration. She didn't like this feeling, this indecision. She wanted to talk to someone about it, anyone, but her dads would merely give their supportive "do whatever feels right, baby girl" and she really didn't feel comfortable talking to anyone in glee club about it. In the past she would have gone to Finn, but that was clearly out of the picture now. She had been reluctant to admit he had given her up for Quinn, but after several attempts, she realized her efforts were futile and in a very un-Rachel Berry-like fashion, she gave up. After a while, she was happy to say she could see the two of them holding hands while walking down the hall and feel nothing, not even a twinge of longing or jealousy. She turned onto her side and rubbed the pad of her thumb across her bejeweled phone clutched tightly in her hand debating what she was about to do.

They hadn't talked since their breakup, and she wasn't even sure if he would answer her call. She wouldn't if she were him. Ever since Jesse left, she spent an agonizing amount of hours poring over every detail of their relationship and where it went wrong. She tried again and again to find any way to put all the blame on him, to see the situation black and white—Jesse had lied to her, used her, and humiliated her, all while introducing her to the mother she always wanted only to be dumped by both in the end.

But it wasn't black and white. Actually, it was so many different shades of grey, Rachel got dizzy just thinking about all of them. There were so many factors, so many outside causes that led to the destruction of what could have been beautiful. And it was only then that she could finally let the events that led to their nasty breakup seep into her mind that had been her fault and her fault alone. Once she realized it was not only Jesse's fault they had come to a tumultuous end, but hers as well, she let go of the anger she held towards him and began to properly mourn the loss of what should have been. Then the guilt began to seep in when she realized how all the blame had been placed on him and him alone.

She flipped open her pink bedazzled phone and scrolled to the name 'MELCHIOR' in her contacts. (After Santana had accused her of not deleting him from her contacts, she had changed his contact name, unable to actually erase him from her life for forever—despite the fact that she had his number memorized). _Spring Awakening_ had been one of their favorites, and too few people knew of it in this deadbeat of a town. Her finger hovered over the call button.

There were so many pros and cons to what she was about to do. She trusted him completely, despite their given past, and she knew he would give her his honest, unedited opinion. He would give her the advice she needed to hear, and she would listen to it without feeling attacked like she had with her so-called friends. She would be able to hear his voice again…god, she missed his voice. On the other hand, she was placing the same trust in him he had already broken once before. Just because she had forgiven him didn't mean she was going to jump back into his arms (although deep down she knew that was a lie; if presented the opportunity, she would most definitely do so—both literally and metaphorically). With a sigh of irritation and determination, she pressed the button. She hesitantly held it up to her ear in trepidation, silently begging for him to pick up the phone. It rang once, twice, three tim—

"Hello?"

She gave a small smile of relief that he hadn't ignored her call, and the tension drained out of her body as soon as she heard his voice.

"Hello?" his musical voice called out again, irritation finally beginning to seep into it.

"Jesse?" she asked hesitantly. The was a long pause.

"Rachel?" he managed to choke out. She heard some rustling in the background before it stopped and all she could hear was his heavy breathing. "Rach?" he asked again, this time a little more tentatively.

"Hey," she said quietly. "How are you?"

Jesse ran a hand through his hair, not believing that he was actually talking to Rachel Berry on the phone, let alone without her cursing and screaming at him.

"I've been better," he answered honestly. He got up from his desk chair, homework and studying forgotten, and made his way over to his bed where he sat back against the wall, knees slightly bent towards him. "How are you?" he asked.

She smiled. "Same as always. Trying to prepare for a competition Mr. Schue magically forgot about until the date seems to be right around the corner…trying to survive high school…you know." He laughs softly.

"I do," he agrees, a carefree smile lounging across his facial features happy they seemed to so easily fall back into the playful banter they both loved so much, "although maybe not so much about that first one. Vocal Adrenaline prepares _months_ before competitions." She laughed along with him at New Direction's lack of proper preparation skills.

"So how's UCLA?" she asked after awhile, curiosity and excitement clear in her voice. He was happy about that; she genuinely wanted to know what he was up to and how he was doing. He ran his hand through his hair again and sighed in resignation.

"It's tough," he admitted. "I'm so used to being the golden boy at Carmel with all the perks of being the lead of Vocal Adrenaline. Seems like this college actually wants be to go to classes and do work and learn and all of that," he ended with fake shock and astonishment. She laughed at his words and shook her head before snuggling into a more comfortable position on her bed. Her head sunk even further into her pillow, and she hugged her knees up to her chest, phone held gently to one ear.

"What classes are you taking?" she asked. He began to launch into a whole description of his weekly schedule along with little side notes of classmates, teachers, and the nooks and crannies of the campus. After he finished, she was smiling in contentment. "It sounds like even though the adjustment is hard, you're doing pretty well Jess," she told him, using her old nickname for him. He couldn't help the elation that spread through him at hearing her use that nickname.

"I am," he said slowly after absorbing her words. Now that he thought about it, it was true. He was adjusting better than he could have ever imagined at college. "There is one very important thing missing though," he added teasingly.

"What?" she asked curiously.

"You," he quipped, a smirk crossing his face. She laughed loudly at that.

"Trust me, Jesse, if I had the opportunity to finish high school right now and start college, I'd jump on the first plane."

He mulled over her answer for a moment before coming to a conclusion. "Things that bad?" he asked. She sighed wistfully. "What happened?" he asked before she could answer, his eyes focusing in front of him as if she were really there, his posture shifting to a slightly more attentive stance. After a few seconds, she launched into a long, detailed description of everything that had happened from the moment he left. Every miniscule detail. For a moment, she had contemplated leaving the details of hers and Finn's relationship out like her letting him finally touch her breasts, being formally introduced to his mom as his girlfriend and actually being a bridesmaid in her wedding, or finding out about Finn lying to her about sleeping with Santana. She wiped the thought away as soon as it came; this was Jesse. He wouldn't be judgmental.

She finally worked her way to the present and her newest conflict: getting a nose job. She tried to present to him the same logic she had presented to everyone she'd told, and he listened as she explained it all: the procedure, the aftermath, the benefits, the risks. After she was _finally_ done, she waited for him to speak. All she could hear was her own slightly labored breathing from talking so much. She waited nervously for him to speak, to hear his reaction. When he finally did speak, she was relieved to hear his voice free of the accusation and dig her "friends'" voices held in the aftermath.

"What brought this on so suddenly?" he asked. His voice gave away none of his feelings, feelings he wouldn't reveal to her until he knew the full situation. It was something she had realized early on in their relationship and a characteristic she admired about him. She tried explaining her nose already being broken and the benefits it would give her, but he stopped her halfway through.

"The truth, Rach," he whispered. She didn't answer for a moment before sighing. She should have known she couldn't hide things from him. Out of everyone in the world, he knew her the best…better than she knew herself sometimes. She didn't know whether that scared her or elated her.

She slowly began to reveal her insecurities to the boy who had captured her heart, bearing her soul to the one person who ever cared enough to…well, care. He was quiet again, but this time she wasn't nervous about having just poured out all her feelings to him or what he would think of her; she was nervous of what he would think she should do. Before he can talk, she added another comment.

"Jess, some of the teasing would stop," she said softly. He rubbed his eyes conflicted over the phone. He knew how much of a show face she plastered on her face every day, how often she hid her true feelings about the teasing and daily torture she was subjected to. At the same time, getting a nose job would do absolutely nothing for her self-esteem. Sure, the teasing would stop, but the hurt would only be replaced by something else. He tried to think over his words painstakingly before speaking.

"I need you to listen very carefully to what I'm about to say," he said softly. "You, Rachel Berry, are perfect. I don't care what anyone else says, but you are beautiful inside and out." A few tears slipped down her cheeks at the strained sincerity in his voice and chock full of emotion. "You're passionate," he continued, "and you're strong. You've been dealing with so much crap ever since you were little, and you still stand tall and proud every day and walk down those halls. Your talent and voice are indescribable, and I don't think there's a single person who could ever meet you and not remember you. Yes, Rachel, you have flaws just like everyone else, but those flaws make you the perfect Rachel Berry." The tears just kept coming, and she accidentally let out a few sniffles alerting him to her cries.

"No one's ever said that to me," she choked out, "not even my dads. But Jess, there's so much more to it than all that," she said frustrated. "It's not all sunshine and rainbows. I'm selfish, and I'm not a team player, and for god's sake, I sent a girl to a crack house! I'm not pretty; I'm not Quinn Fabray. I just…" Her voice faded off as she failed to find the words to describe the jumbled mess in her head.

"Inactive," he reminded her instinctively as he recalled her telling him about the tiny girl named Sunshine who seemed exceedingly annoying already, and he hadn't even met her. "And would someone who's selfish give up her solos to someone who desperately needed a spring in their step? Or to make a new member feel needed so your team could compete?" Silence. "You're so used to everyone telling you all the negative repercussions of your actions, but they never tell you all the good you bring. They would never be where they are today if it weren't for you." She smiled weakly through her tears at the statement, and she wouldn't deny it had some truth to it. She did carry this team alone, and they failed to give her recognition for that. "And first of all, this world has enough bitchy cheerleaders who are brats and throw tantrums when they don't get what they want before seeking to destroy their rival's life." She squirmed at his use of language, but she didn't interrupt him. "Second of all, 'not pretty'? Are you kidding me Rachel? Do you know how many hard-ons I got when we were together?"

Her cheeks began to turn a deep shade of red as she registered his last words. "I'm s-sorry," she managed to verbalize through her embarrassment and nerves. He laughed loudly at her words for a good ten seconds before his laughs finally died down into chuckles.

"You're the only girl I know who would apologize for turning on her boyfriend at said time," he laughed, and she joined in (despite her slight ignorance when it came to sex) when she realized how absurd her own words sounded to her when she thought them over. Their laughs died down and the silence overtook them again, both sides of the line deathly quiet. They were both waiting for the other to cave, for one to be the catalyst to break the stillness that had quickly overcome them both. The silence only seemed to stretch on, and for a minute she truly believed he had hung up, and she reached to do the same before his voice sounded through her phone.

"There are always going to be things about yourself that you don't like Rachel," he told her, "and they're sometimes things others don't like as well. But you need to push past that and accept those things as a part of you."

She snorted. "You sound like Mr. Schuester." He chuckled at her comment but waits for her to address what he had said. After a few moments, she licked her lips and said worriedly, "But no one else will be able to accept those things. No one's ever going to like me if I stay as…me. No one accepts me now except for my dads, and I guess you a bit, but that's it really. I can't think of anyone else," she ended sadly, a forlorn expression dominant on her face.

"A little? I love every goddamn part of you, Rachel Berry, and don't you forget that," he said sternly. She started a little at his firm tone, and she became teary eyed again.

"You don't—"

"Don't tell me I don't mean it, Rachel," he interrupted. "I meant every word I said, and you are every guy's dream girl and the friend every person should wish they could have." He felt his veins pumping with adrenaline, his entire body revved up by the conversation they were having. He hated how these people made her so insecure. He hated how she felt so comfortable running to him in a time of need, but refused to believe he loved her for _her_. He hated how sure he was that nobody had ever told her these things before in her life.

Over on the other line, Rachel's tears had once again spilt over, tear tracks marking her face. She couldn't even begin to verbalize how much his words meant to her, and in that moment she had never wished so much for him to be standing right next to her so she could show him. "Jesse, I—" her voice full of tears started only to be interrupted.

"Rachel, honey, it's time to go to bed," her dad, Hiram, said gently from her doorpost. He gave her an apologetic look knowing this conversation seemed to be important since she was crying, but it was already past two in the morning and she had school the next day. Rachel looked at the clock and seemed to sag when the time registered.

"Okay Dad," she said quietly. He nodded and walked in to drop a kiss on her head whispering a caring "Goodnight" before walking back out and closing the door gently to give her privacy while she said her goodbyes.

"I'm guessing you have to turn in for the night," Jesse said, a hint of regret colouring his tone. She sighed.

"Yeah…" There was a moment of silence before Rachel realized something. "Oh my god!" she cried. "You were probably studying when I called." Guilt began to crash through her as she became conscious of how long she had kept him. "I'm _so_ sorry, Jesse, I really didn't realize how late it had gotten."

He laughed gently, glad at how the mood had shifted from melancholy to…whatever _this_ was, and for some reason her comment filled him with joy. He grinned as the feeling of happiness coursed through him and spread throughout his room (which really was beginning to look like a pigsty he noted, his nose wrinkling in disdain).

"It's okay, I wouldn't want to be spending my time any other way," he said truthfully, and she smiled, brushing away the remainder of her tears. "Besides, I'd pretty much take anything over contemporary science _any_ day." She laughed noticing that his contempt of schoolwork had not changed since she last saw him.

"I'll let you get back to studying then," she said, laughter still coating her voice. There was a pause before his voice sounded back through the phone.

"Will I speak to you again? Can I…call you or text you sometime?" he asked nervously, and she was surprised. Jesse St. James didn't _get_ nervous (or at least according to her knowledge—he'd never let her know that he spent hours doing his hair and was still left unhappy with it before their first date). A sentimental smile graced her face when she realized he wanted to talk to her again just as much as she did.

"I'd really like that," she answered softly. He had an identical smile on his face but sighed knowing their conversation was at a close.

"I don't want to hang up either," she admitted, practically reading his mind.

"I know…" he said.

"Think of it this way though; it's not a goodbye," she said on an upbeat note.

"True," he admitted. There was silence once more before he spoke up again. "Goodnight, Rach," he whispered tenderly.

"Goodnight, Jesse," she replied similarly. They both unwillingly pressed the '_end'_ button and Rachel turned so she lay spread-eagle on her pink comforter. The conversation had lasted for so long, but there was still so much left unsaid. With Jesse, she never had enough. She could spend a lifetime with him and never get tired of him. It was such a contrast with Finn who she (although she'd never spoken it aloud to anyone) could only take in small doses before his personality started to irk her.

Irritated her conversation was cut short, she got up and began to get ready for bed (not before leaving herself a note to talk to her dads and call her doctor about cancelling that appointment; she wouldn't be needing it anymore) before climbing under the covers. She flopped back and forth for ten minutes unable to find a comfortable position. Jesse filled her mind, snippets of her time with him before he left to college on a never-ending loop. She still wasn't sure if he wanted to talk to her again, because the thought of Jesse St. James being eager to speak to her again was both shocking and slightly impractical. Her eyes were still wide open, mind still racing when her phone vibrated and lit up on her nightstand. She grabbed it and looked to see who it was from. 'MELCHIOR'. She grinned and quickly flipped it open to see what he had written.

'_Someday I'll find a way to show you just how lucky I am to know you._'

* * *

**A/N:** Well, this was supposed to be a short one-shot when I realized I'd already hit over 3,000 words. Soooo, not sure how this one turned out. Tell me what you think? Comment? Criticism? Just love JGroff or St. Berry as much as I do? :D

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